Funny Wishes and Status Messages

I want u ...
To be with me In a nice Restaurent
To have candle light dinner.... &
to say those sweet three words to you....
'Pay The Bill'

A man’s home is his CASTLE until the QUEEN arrives. .

Thanks to multiple phone numbers each of the family members carrying now a days ... And the way they are stored...
Contact list is a bit scary


"Mummy new"



"Papa 2"



"Wife old"



"Wife 2"



"Mother in Law Jio"



"Husband India"



"Husband Dubai"



"Husband Europe"



And the best one is



" Husband temporary "

Navjot Singh Siddhu’s Son in School.
Teacher: What is a Noun?
Son: Mohtarma.. arjh kiya hai.
Kutta bhi hota hai apni galli me King.
Noun is the name of any Person, Place or Thing..!!!!

A stupid boyfriend thought 'LOL' meant 'Lots of Love'. So he sent this text to his girlfriend, " You are only girl of my life ...LOL".

Sardar: Station jaane k kitne logay?
Rikshawala: 50
Sardar: 20 lelo
Riksha: 20 main kon le k jaayeega?
Sardar: tum piche bheto hum leke jaayega

Jailer: Faasi se pehle kisse miloge?
Santa: Biwi Se
Jailer: Maa-Baap se nahi
Santa: Maa-Baap to agla jnm lete hi mil jyenge
biwi ke liye sala phir 25 saal wait karna padega!! :

Beti: Mein padosi se pyar karti hu aur uske sath bhag rahi hu!
Baap: Thanks mere apise aur time dono bach gye.
Beti: Papa mein to letter padh rahi hu!
jo mummy rakh ke Gayi.

8 secrets of Success u can find in ur room:

1. Roof says aim high
2. Fan says be cool
3. Clock says every minute is precious
4. Mirror says reflect before u act
5. Window says see the world
6. Calendar says be upto date
7. Door says don't miss d opportunity
8. Bed says sab bakwaas hai. Mast chaddar odh kar so ja

o.

Who is a Girl ?
A Girl is the most Beautiful part of God's creation.

She starts compromising at a very tender age.

She sacrifices her chocolates for her brother.

Later she sacrifices her love for just a smile on
her parents face.

Then after marriage ...
She takes revenge of all things
from her Husband...:)

Banta: Sante tera restaurant kaisa Chal raha hai?
Santa: Koi Khas nahi.
Banta: Vaise main do bar tere restaurant Aaya, Par wahan pe tala laga hua tha.
Santa : yaar tu lunch ya dinner ke time Aaya hoga.. Uss time humlog khana khane Ghar jate hai.

The most 'Sharmnaak' thing these days is to
say...
.
.
.
. .
.
that, "I'm not on WhatsApp"..

Golden Thought Of The Day
Girls Express Their Feelings With Gussa
And Tears
.
.
Boys Express Their Feelings With Sutta
&
Beers..

World's Shortest Love Story :

Boy :
Hi, you Look Beautiful
.

Girl :
Thank You , Bro.

If Someone Says Bad Things About Us, We Feel Bad ....

If Someone Says Good Things About Us, We Feel Good ...

The Question Is :Have We Given Our Remote Control To Others ?

2 boys with Sardar were going on a Motor cycle.
Policeman gives hand to stop.
Sardar shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kahan bethega…!

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Define Girls!!

The 1 who
b4 goin out for a party,
facial,
bleach,
waxing,
hair cuting/straighting,
threading,
toning,
scrubing,
moisturhng,
done
&
put on
lipstick,
lipgloss,
lipliner,
perfume,
body toner,
body lotion,
eye liner,
eye shadow,
eye maskara,
foundation,
face powder,
rings,
bracelet,
neckless,
nail paint,
party dress,
Sandle,
Purse and
says: yaar jalde ki bajah se kuch kar nahe payi

Define boy!!

The one who b4 goin to party calls his frnd & ask :
“bhai, tu naha k aayega kya?”
Frnd reply: chal be tere bap ki baraat hai kya..
Boys alwayz rocks…

Phone Ke Rishte Bhi Bade Ajeeb Hote Hain,
Balance Rakhkar Bhi Log Ajeeb Hote Hain,
Khud To Msg Karte Nahi Hain,
Muft Ke Msg Padhne Ke Kitne Shoqin Hoti Hai…

Ek ladki class me gana ga rahi thi
'O zara-zara touch me, touch me, touch me…'
Tabhi ek ladka utha aur ladki ko chhu liya aur
bola himmat hai to aage Gaa..

Break-Up Ki 1 Month Baad
Wo Mere Pass Aa Kar Boli..
.
Tumhe Pyaar Karne Ki Saza Do Mujhe.
.
.
.
Fir Kyaa??
.
Maine V Jaa K Uski Papa Ko Saab Bata Diya.
.
Kasam Se Bohot Piti Sali..

Zindgi ki Shuruat 'S' Se hoti hai.
S- for Suraj,
S- Subah,
S- Sham,
S- Swagat,
S- Samay
Uske bad
S- Sagai
Phir Shadi Phir Sas,
Sasur,
Sali,
Sala
Phir Satyanas!

Bus Accident
Man Crying: Mera hath kat gaya.
Bahut dard ho raha hai.

Santa: Abey chup baith.
Wo dekh uska gala kat gaya,
Fir bhi chup-chaap pada hai..!!

Ever Heard about the device

that

converts your precious thoughts into speech ???

.

.

.

.

.

It is called daaru ..

Hum Aaj Bhi Dil Ka Aashiyana Sajane Se Darte Hain,
Baagon Mein Phool Khilaney Se Darte Hain,
Hamari Ek Pasand Se Toot Jaayeinge Hazaaro Dil,
Tabhi Toh Hum Aaj Bhi Girlfriend Bananey Se Darte Hain…

Raatan nu nind na aave,
Dine chain na aava,
Jad main rab to pucheya rabba ki ehi pyar hai?
Rab ne muskara ke keha,” Nahi beta, Light de bina Sab da ehi haal hai…!!!!

Jab tumhe dekhu my dil start flying,
Tumse baat karne ko I keep trying,
Jab tu dur jaye I feel like crying,
Arre itna mat chad I was just lying…

1dard Naaak Kahani....
:
:
:
:
Dekhane K Liye Taiyar Ho Jaiye
1 Chhote Se Break K Baad.

When you are Single
You see ahppay couple Everywhere,
.
.
.
But
.
.
.
.
.
When u r married
.
.
.
you see Happy Singles everywhere.

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.