Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 123

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant.
“No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,Husband:please slow down the speed of car.Wife:No ;please. No; please NopleaseNopls..Husband:the Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of axident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh..

MAMU :Oye, maar gayea yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hain.
MAMU KA DOST :Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

Dear user,your wife can become mother without your struggle!Just SMS ‘CHILD’ or call customer care at 9890****** & be a tension-free DAD!

><(((:>I send dis fish as a sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep it in mobile & daily put ur mobile in water so tat fish wont DIE:-)

I’m @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss

….payal chankati ayee thi…..
….payal chankati chali gayee……………….???
……………….main sindoor leke khada tha,
mujhe rakhi pehnake chali gayee.

If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food

can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out, i know you have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to ATM machine???????

Santa banta ko 3 live Bomb milte hai… Santa aur banta un bombs ko police ko dene Jate hai……..
(raste mein… ) Santa : agar koi bomb raste mehi phat jaye to???
Banta:jhoot bol denge ke 2 hi mile the .

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

An independant study has proven dat those who have a bad sex life & who are crap in bed are readin dis message in their right hand!

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

Marriage:
It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modeling. Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION !! “Laloo, third from left!”

Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky…then i thought where the fuck is my roof

MAMU :Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL :Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

bikari : 50 paise de de ,maine 3 din se khana nahi khaya baba
marvadi : 50 paise nahi 5 rupaye dunga,pehle yeh bata 50 paise mein khana kaha milta hai…”??

First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering

One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani.She told stupid

Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No… 1.—–I dont have brain… 2.—–I dont have sence… 3.—–I am stupid….

Hay Baby Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

girl friends are like mobile phone, whenever you want happiness just check inbox, whenever u want to cry check out box, and whenever u want to enjoyment just plug in your charger and enjoy.

Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas.So he called up the Tourist department and asked them “Ji..could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas…”. . The man at the other end replies “One second sir…” and Laloo immediately replies “thank you”and puts the phone down

At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo’s left tells the bartender ,”JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE.” And the man’s companion says, “JACK DANIELS,SINGLE.” The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, “AND YOU, SIR?” Lalooreplies: “LALOO YADAV, MARRIED

Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, “Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we willturn it into an economic superpower like Japan.” Laloo was very surprised.”You Japanese are very inefficient” he stated. “Give me three days and Iwill turn Japan into the next Bihar!”

judge-what you do?
prisnor-This & that
judge-where you live?
prisnor-here&there
judge(to policeman)-Arrest him.
prisnor-when i will come out
judge-sooner&later

This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!

Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was a huge rush, the security guard told Laloo “WAIT PLEASE” for which Laloo replied “65Kgs” and moved

A Mother makes her son “INTELLIGENT” in 20 Years, but a girl makes him STUPID in 2 minutes.