Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 141

Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?
A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.

I hate it when people point to their wrists to ask for the time! I mean, seriously, do I point to my crotch when I need to go to a Restroom?

Can''t believe that after all the shit that''s happened between them, they are still together.
Who?
Ur bums.

When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u.

A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep with a girl?
Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys never sleep.

Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U.

A student writes a letter via telegram to his dad. It goes... No fun, send mon, your son!
Dad write back saying...so sad, too bad, your dad!

Banta: How does an attorney sleep?
Santa: First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.

A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are u wearing ur belt around ur knee.?
Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn''t let you touch me below my belt.

Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that''s where you get your shitty ideas from!

Q: What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A: A Moti-vaiting.

When u r down & no one is there, don''t think of me. When u r crying & no one is there then too don''t just think of me, call me up, my incoming is free.

I''ve written a poem for you:
Twinkle twinkle little star,
you should know what you are,
and once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.

Hi! Need one girl to marry... Age no bar, color no bar, height no bar, caste no bar, but girl''s father must have his own bar...CHEERS

What''s the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

My goal is to be a failure! If I reach my goal, I''ll be successful and if I don''t reach my goal, I''ll still be successful.

Can''t believe that after all the shit that''s happened between them, they are still together.
Who?
Ur bums.

Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.

You should do two things in the morning...Pray to God so you can live and have a shower so others can live.

Every organisation is like a tree full of monkeys. Ones at the top can only see monkeys below them and ones at the bottom see only assholes above them.

Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that''s where you get your shitty ideas from!

Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.

Gujju lover: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa, kuch narm sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho!
Premika: Dhokla.

Look at the world around u; u’ll see God''s creativity. Look at the breakfast table; u’ll c God''s providence. Look at the mirror u’ll c God''s sense of humor.

What''s the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

Q: What''s the difference between gud & bad gals? A: Gud gals loosen a few buttons when its hot, bad gals make it hot by loosening a few buttons!

Hi! Need one girl to marry... Age no bar, color no bar, height no bar, caste no bar, but girl''s father must have his own bar...CHEERS

Jab tum hanstey ho to lagta hai ki insaan pehle bandar tha!
Dekho gussa mat karo kyonki jab tum gussa karte ho to lagta hai ki insaan aaj bhi bandar hai.

Osama to Big B: How are you??
Big B: Bas Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. And you?
Osama: Bas Kabhi Gola Kabhi Bum.

The first half of our lives is spent ignoring our parents'' advice and the second half in trying to keep our children from ignoring ours.