Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 142

Unlike others your brain is a masterpiece. In the left half, nothing is right and in the right half, nothing is left.

Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls'' bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes?
A: Lifebuoy.

Think big, think smart, think positive, think beautiful, think great, I know this is too much for you, so here is a shortcut... just think about ME!

Q: Why do men fart more often than women?
A: Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure.

In chemistry class teacher asked a gal: what r Nitrates
Gal answered shyly: night rates, they r costlier than day.

Q: What''s the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

God made Pepsi, God made whisky, God made me so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes and God made you... well everybody makes mistakes.

Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road. Change it to exclamatory sentence.
Student: WOW !

Q: What''s the difference between gud & bad gals? A: Gud gals loosen a few buttons when its hot, bad gals make it hot by loosening a few buttons!

I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back.……. Nice Ass!!!

The Madrasi said: I want to see the movie ''Heart is umbrella''. Which movie did he really want to see?
Dil Chhata Hai.......

Agar zindagi main kuch kar dikhana hai to kuch aisa karo ki jis shaher, jis gali, jis mod se gujro wahan ke har ghar se awaaz aaye, Papa aa gaye, Papa aa gaye!

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When u smile the world smiles with u. Wen u r down people''ll rally behind u but when u fart u r alone coz people''ll never stand by u!

A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are u wearing ur belt around ur knee.?
Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn''t let you touch me below my belt.

Woman has man in it, Mrs has Mr in it, female has male in it, Madam has adam in it, so girls r always incomplete without boys.

When I go wrong, I need ur hand 2 correct, wen emotions bust out, I need ur hand 2 catch, wen I win, I need ur hand 2 pat. In short:Ye Haath Mujhe De De Thakur

The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!

I want you to be with me in a nice restaurant to have Candle Light Dinner & say those three sweet words to you....Pay The Bill.

Sometimes when u cry, no 1 sees ur tears. Sometimes when u r worried, no 1 sees ur pain. Sometimes when u r happy, no 1 sees ur smile. But fart just once...

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito to her mother.
Yes, but be aware, pay attention during the applause.

A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. ''Anything new at work?''
He replied, ''No, I''m teaching History.''

Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds...... Open ur eyes ! Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 seconds in thinking of a fool.

May the fleas of thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.

Mom: Andy, where r u off to now?
Son: I`m gonna join the army.
Mom: But, legally u r only an infant.
Son: That`s all right, I`m going to join the infantry.

This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn''t expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on your name and didn''t even tell me?
Animal Planet!

Tussi brilliant, beautiful, genius, smart, nice, gud looking, intelligent, respectful, kind, ideal sohne sunakhe Punjabi gabru da sms par rahe ho.

Can''t believe after all the shit they have been through they''re still together............Who?
Your bum cheeks!!

Today is the International day of Smart & Attractive people. Send this to someone who fits the description! Don’t send it back; I''ve already received hundreds.

Geet Ka Saar: SMS woh gyaan hai jo baantne se badta hai, isiliye he praani tu bill ka moh tyag de aur SMS kar, isi se tera manushaya janm safal hoga.