Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 146

I want u 2 know dat our frenship means alot 2 me. U cry I cry. U laff I laff. U jump out of d window I look dwn & then ...... I laff again! :)

If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food

Send this sms to 3 of your friends and you will have unbelievable sex tonight! If you break this chain you will never have multiple Orgasms again!

MuM: Have you brought the matches home? Son: Yes! Mum: Are they working??? Son: Yes! I have try up all the fire macthes... It s working.

Sending u MY BED 2 let u rest, Pillows 2 give u COMFORT, and MY BLANKET 2 keep u warm. Gdnite! Sleep tight.I cant sleep now..coz i lent u all my things!

You = Gorgeous You = Sexy You = Intelligent You = Delicious You = Seductive You = Perfect Me = liar Only Joking!!

Everyones entitled to be stupid, but your abusing the privilege!

Death is the greatest kick of all.That''s why they save it for last!

A Jewish woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says. Want a little company? Why? asks the woman. Do you have one to sell?

ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY! So what? Who''s in a hurry?

A man is like a toilet-he''s either free, taken, unavailable, engaged, out of order, taking the piss or just full of shit.

Smile- its the 2nd best thing you can do with your lips

When are men the smartest? Before, during or after sex? During sex cause they''re plugged into a genius!

Message from your operator: your vibrator disturbs our network. Please, get your climax as quickly as you can or go on by hand. In anticipation; Thanks!

1 day there was tis naked man N elephant, da elephant looks at the naked man 4 a few seconds, then ask da naked man, HOW CAN U BREATH THRU THAT LITTLE THING?

We spend the first twelve months of our children s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.

It''s so hard 2 lose some1 that is 99% cute, 98%sweet, 95% loving, 90% talented n 100% down 2 earth. That''s me! what a waste if u lose me..

Sex n drugs n rock n rave thatz get smashed n misbehave, on speed n weed n little e''s lets get fucked n talk 2 trees

Funny SMS page 3
Bedroom golf can make u grin,u need a stick 2 help u win.Keep ur clubs in good condition+neva play wivout permission.Practice often its lotsa fun+try2get a hole in1

What''s the simularity of math and sex? add the beds, minus the clothes, devide the leggs and multiply.

What did the blonde s left leg say to her right leg? Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Why are women like parking spaces? Bcoz the good ones are always taken and the rest are all disabled!

I''d willingly fertilize Mary,And watch for 9 months her shape vary,From the very first day,To the child-birth display,When her tits would turn into a dairy

HumptyDumpty fuked a fat whore,HumptyDumpty fuked her some more,all the kings horses and all the kings men bent the bitch over and fuked her again!

*NEWS FLASH* Snow White has been thrown out Disneyland.she pulled up her skirt,sat on pinnochios face & shouted lie u bastard,lie,lie

the police are looking for a suspect who is smart,sexy,witty&very good looking...so where are u gonna hide me?

Why can t a blonde dial 911? Because She can t find the eleven!!!

DOu know WHO is the best goolkeeper in this world ? ANSWER: WOMEN, no matter how much and which way u fuck her, ur balls will never go in.

When you breath, you inspire. When you don''t breath, you expire.

He said: "I don''t know why you wear a bra; you''ve got nothing to put in it."
She said: "You wear underpants, don''t you?"