My wife dresses 2 kill T only problem is th@ she cooks in T same manner.
T jogger who overslept found himself running... late.
Y dnt c@s shv? Coz 80% prefer Whiskers!
I used 2 like trac2rs... ...but now I''m an extrac2r fan.
Wht do elephants hv for dinner? An hour, just like T rest of T animals.
Wht''s T maximum penalty of bigamy? 2 moTrs-in-law.
Y dnt lobsters shR? Bcoz Ty''re shellfish.
2 aerials meet on a roof - fell in love & got married. T ceremony was terrible, but T reception was brilliant!
I want 2 die peacefully in my sleep like my gr&f@her… not screaming in terror like his passengers!
Chelsea signed 2 players from Icel&. Ranieri said ''If Ty R no good he wll try Sainsburys.
Wht do U cll a h&cuffed man? Trus2rthy.
Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense? I''ll tel U l8r.
A girl ph1d me T oTr day & said ''Come no over, Tre''s nobody home''. I went over. Nobody was home.
Wot do U do if a blonde throws a grenade @ U? Take T pin out & throw it back.
Wht do U cll a vicar on a mo2r bike? Rev.
Hw does Bob Marley like his s&wiches? Wi jammin.
Wht do U get if U cross a skunk with a boomerang? A bad smell U cnt get rid of.
I''m an alien I''ve transformed in2 Ur ph1 & as U''re reading ths I''m having sex with Ur finger. I know U like it Bcoz I cn C U smiling!
I had a ploughman''s lunch T oTr day. He wasn''t V happy.
Spell hungry horse in 4 letters. M T G G.
Hw do U communicate with a fish? Drop it a line.
Wht do Mexicns hv under Tir carpets? Underlay! Underlay!
Y R dumb blonde jokes all 1-liners? So men cn underst& Tm.
Y did T cnnibal rush over 2 T cafeteria? He hrd children wr half price.
Woman asks a barman ''Cn I hv a double entendre please?'' so T barman gave her 1.
Hv U hrd about T magic trac2r? It went down a country road & turned in2 a field.
Did U hear about T Dutch man with T infl@able shoes? He popped his clogs!
Wht did 1 magnet say 2 T oTr magnet? I find U V @tractive.
Wht do U cll a triple barrel shotgun? A trifle.
Wht''s T fastest cake in T world? Sc1.
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