Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 153

Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!

I may not be Pepsi, the choice of the new generation. I may not be Coca Cola, only the real thing. I may not be Nido, the world''s number 1 but I can be PLDT, clearly for you.

20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.

BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you''ll never have multiple orgasm again!

I asked my guardian angel for a friend whom I can love forever. She gave me you. And so I called on her again and asked: "Wala na bang iba?"

What''s the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you and torture is thinking of you too much.

If I were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=me!

There are now three ways of describing a glass with water half of its volume. It is either half-full, half-empty or half-safe to drink.

The only person who can make her smile is a dentist.

At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.

Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.

People are always looking for cute ones, the perfect ones, the gorgeous ones, the smart ones, the sweet ones. Lagi na lang ako! Ako! Ako!

Playboy, speaking to a girl: "I want you to know that I value our relationship very much. In fact, I find you as my most favorite girlfriend."

Dear fellow texters, Due to Globeline problems, we are experiencing delayed messages. This is why as early as now I would like to greet you a Merry Christmas.

Nasa bundok ka, mahuhulog cell phone mo at girlfriend mo, anong gagawin mo? Magpakatotoo ka brother! Sagipin mo ang cell phone mo at sigaw mo sa girlfriend mo, text na lang kita!.

Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.

I''m not sure what life could bring you. I''m not sure if dreams do come true. I''m not sure what love can do. But I''m sure about one thing. Cute tayo.

I''m so sorry for not telling you this before. You ought to know how smart, cute, witty, sweet, charming, alluring and wonderful you are!... I didn''t know I''ve influenced you that much!

When I was lost, you were there. When I was down, you were there. When I was bankrupt, you were there. When I almost died, you were there... Teka, baka ikaw ang malas sa buhay ko!

He loves his girlfriend more when she is not around.

Looks may capture the eyes but it''s the personality that captures the heart. Kainis, I have both.

Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

If you save this message, it means cute ako. If you edit it, cute pa rin ako. If you delete it, naiinggit ka kasi cute ako. Pero kung ipoforward mo, pinagkakalat mong cute ako.

Newsflash: Police are looking for a suspect who''s smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous. They''ve already eliminated you from the list of suspects. Where do you think I should hide?

When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-years old.

Someone claimed that Maria Clara could not be the model of Filipino women. "History never mentioned that she brushed her teeth," was the explanation.

Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .

Let go of the one who makes you cry. Let go of the one who breaks your heart. Let go of the one who causes you much pain. But never let go of me because mahirap maghanap ng cute na ka-text.

Others say life is unfair. Well, it''s true. Others are jealous of you. And they really should be. Wanna know why? Hmmm… coz you have a cute text mate like me.

It takes patience to keep a nagging wife; fortune to keep an ambitious wife; four eyes to keep a pretty wife.