Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 154

I''m afraid to die not because it will hurt or I don''t know what will happen, but because I might be waiting for you in Heaven and be disappointed.

A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, a colon, or an exclamation point... So don''t dare to kiss me coz I might get crazy,?.!

I don''t know how to say this. We are friends but I can''t get you out of my mind. This is wrong but you''re the only one I could think of. This might break our friendship, but I have to say this. Pautang naman!

No one is too fat to run, except the Pinoy policeman.

Ang ganda ng umaga because of you. Ang ganda ng dream ko, it was all about you. Ang sakit ng ulo ko, puro you na lang ng you. Sabi ni doc, maybe because I miss you.

You think I''m nice, I think you''re nice. You think I''m kind, I think you''re kind. You think I can be trusted, I think you can. You think I''m cute, and I think you''re right.

Any man who can text while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the text the attention it deserves.

I looked at the sky. The sky is beautiful. I looked at you. I looked at the sky na lang ulit.

If only I''m an angel, I''ll protect you. I''ll lend you my wings. I''ll watch over you. But I''m not an angel, hawig lang.

I live a very difficult life. I''m always hurt! Whenever people call me cute, good looking, smart and lovable, I''m always hurt! Totoo pala, the truth hurts!

A husband coming home from a confession and lifts his wife and carries her on his shoulder. Wife: Did the priest tell you to be so romantic like this? Husband: No, he told me to carry my cross.

Five reasons why I keep texting you: 1. You made me feel welcomed 2. You made me smile 3. You appreciate my thoughts 4. You spend time reading my messages 5. Di ako kuripot tulad mo!

Everything about you is perfect - your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You''re lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.

Some people choose friends who are thoughtful and caring. Some prefer those who are smart and good looking. When you chose me, pinakyaw mo na lahat.

The Pinoy politician does not fail to smile in front of the camera. Why? Guilt tickles when there is too much light.

The smell of a woman should stay with you. The smell of a man should come to you as you go to him and leave you with only a memory, not a headache.

Help! Nasa presinto ako. Nahuli kasi ako while I was working kanina. The charge was possession of cute face. I had no choice but plead guilty. Lakas ng ebidensya nila e!

You can buy gifts but not love. You can pretend smile but not happiness. You can lie to others but not to yourself. You can have another friend but not as cute as I am!

If you''re not cute don''t continue reading this.... Naks! yan ang gusto ko sayo eh, lakas ng fighting spirit mo! O pumipindot pa! Lupit mo!

Money will buy a bed but not sleep, food but not appetite, amusement but not happiness. You see, money is not everything. Therefore, if you have too much, please send it to me ASAP!

When a veteran actor dies, women weep. When a young actor dies, girls cry, "Sayang!"

What do you do when you see an extremely cute person? Ako, I stare at the person and smile, but when I get tired, I just put the mirror down. Nakakangawit eh!

When you feel left out and all alone, just try to close your eyes for a moment and think of me. Afterwards, you will suddenly smile and say, text ko nga ang cute na yon!

You''ll never know who your friends are… till you stumble and fall. And till you feel his hands on your shoulder as he says, "Yan tatanga-tanga kasi".

When she talks about the town, she calls it news. When the town talks about her, she calls it ''tsismis''.

Everyone, except me, wants to become a millionaire. I want to become a billionaire.

Newsflash: Policemen saving a woman who appears to be jumping off a building. Policeman: Bumaba ka dyan maraming nagmamahal sa yo! Woman: Wag kayo makialam, di ako makapag -send!

Kahit NISSAN ka STAREX ka ng buhay ko, masKIAnong mangyari, HONDA kitang pagMAZDAn at SUZUmpang SUZUKIlian ka ng buong katapatan. DODGE what friends are FORD!

How to spot a texter? 1. may muscle ang thumb 2. barok magsalita 3. may bangga ang auto 4. laging nakayuko 5. nakasimangot dahil di makasend.

If you''re like my pillow, you''re huggable. If you''re like my cell phone, you''re smart. If you''re my chocolate, you''re sweet. If you''re like me, grabe and cute mo naman!