Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 164

You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number

Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?

If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.

I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!

Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."

Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.

Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???

If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.

I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T

It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

You are never too blond to learn !!!

The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??

My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...

I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...

Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things.

They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?

One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed and it knows one French word ... MOI!!

I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...

You’d better not be a dayfly and not having your day.

We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."

Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed

My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."

If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.

I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.

i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number

The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood !