Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 166

A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.

U should do two things in a day. In the morninq pray to God so that u can live and take a shower so that other can live.

Wife; Should I have a baby after 35? Husband: No 35 children are anough!

Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

There should be a better way to start a day. Than waking up every morning.

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.

"Practice makes a man perfect"
But nobody is perfect!!!
"so why practice?"

Sex is not the answer...Sex is the question
"Yes" is the answer.

I never miss you, I never forget you, I never have felt that you are kilometres away from me just because I watch Animal Planet often.

"I'm never going to work for that man again" "Why, what did he say?" "You're fired"

"Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk !

The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise.

A politician to a woman, "You look beautiful today." The woman replied, "Thanks, but unfortunately I cannot say the same about you." "Sure you could," said the political man, "if you could lie as well as I do."

Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne wala gadha".
Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased and wrote back: "Likhene waala gadha".

An Eskimo woman spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.

An stronomer was watching the sky with his telescope. A sardar was watching him. Suddely a star falls. Seeing that the sardar shouted - Kya nishana lagaya hai!!!.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman and behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

If it's true that we ore here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

Santa and Banta found three live hand grenades and decided to take them to the police station.
"What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asked Santa.
"Don't worry about it, "said Banta."We'll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Kuch bhi karlo, Ab yeh desh SMS ke bina nahin chalega.
SMS bole to S=Sardar, M=Manmohan, S=Singh

One Cab Driver to other: Hey, why did you paint one side of your cab red and the other side blue?
Other Cab Driver: Well, when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other.

Never put off the work till tomorrow, what you can put off today.

Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.

lf all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting.

O Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

Do u know that pregnant sardarnis are oftern refered to as with "ISI" mark? Strong Na!!!
Don't laugh as "ISI" means "Idiot Sardar Inside".

Husband: I am feeling so depressed today. Wife: Why, Honey?
Husband: It is just that sometimes I feel so alone and useless.
Wife; Oh, you do not have to feel so alone. A lot of people think you are useless.

Every man should marry
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.