Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 167

Dr. Chopra psychotherapist wanted his sign board to be painted in front of his clinic but Sardar painter painted 'Dr. Chopra psycho the rapist."

Wife: If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to cross ur mind? Husband : That u r a lesbian.

Middle age is when actions creak louder than words.

Once a wife was about to give birth to a baby. Husband : Honey, if it looks like u, it would be great.
Wife: If it looks like you, it would be a miracle.

A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?"
"No," says the cop.
"What about all these other cars?"
"They didn't ask!"

Sardar (To his wife): Cofee jaldi piyo darling. Wife: But why? Sardar: Becauze hot coffee is Rs. 5 and cold is Rs.20!!!!!

Only once in life will you meet someone with whom you can share your happiness and sorrows. ....Till then enjoy with the wrong one!!!

A sardar ji went to party with his family and introduced them to his friends, saying...
I am sardar and this is my sardaarni. This is my kid and that is my kidney.

Two Sikh solders capture to a Pakistani, gave him a dice & say, "If u throw 1,2,3,4 or 5, we will kill u." Pakistani asks "what if I get a 6?" Then u throw again.

A couple drove down the river. Just after a square goats and pigs passing by.
Wife: Relatives of yours.
Husband: Yes in Laws.

"When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least."
"You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old."

Blonde is on one side of lake and yells to another blonde across the lake, 'How do I get to the other side?'
The other blonde yells back, 'U R on the other side."

What PMS really stand for?
PMS means Putting Up With Mens Shit!

Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter. With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.

Doctor: You and your wife have same blood group. Patient: Ye to hona hi tha 25 saal se mera khoon jopeerahi hai.

Nurse: Sardar ji, mubarak ho, aap papa ban gaye. Sardar ji: Men' bibi ko mat batana, main use surprise doonga.

Q: Why did Shanta Singh takes his pregnant wife to Pizza Hut?
A: Coz they advertised "Free Delivery"

Getting married is like dinning with friends; you see menu, order what you want, then see what your friends have ordered and wish you had ordered that instead.

A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he is flying, and about flying when he is with a woman.

Waiter: These are the best eggs we've had for years.
Diner: Well, bring me some you haven't had around for that long.

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner*.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or No," she replied.

Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!

Being happy is like wetting your pants. Everyone sees it, but only u feel warmth.

How does the captain know the aircroft is safely at the ramp?
Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

Love is like energy that can neither be created nor destroyed; it can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.

Teacher: Tim, you missed school yesterday? Tim: Not a bit!

The frightened tourist: "Are there any bats in this?"
The guide: "There were, but don't worry, the snakes ate all of them."

Teacher: Milton, how can you prove the earth is round?
Milton: I can't. Besides, I never said it was.

A man telephoned airline office m New York and asked, "How long does it take to fly to Boston?" The clerk said, "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the man said and hung up.

Sardar ne apni Pregnant biwi ko SMS kiya 'kaisi ho?' i der baad Sardar jor se naachne laga.
You know why? kyunki mobile pe message aaya:
"delivered."