Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 170

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3 REASONS Y CATS R BETTER DAN MEN 1)cats luv u wotever u look like 2)u can stroke a cat wivout it thinkin about sex 3)u dont mind wen ur cat chases after birds

"I'm never going to work for that man again"
"Why, what did he say?"
"You're fired"

Santa: "Oh, look at the dead bird".
Banta: (Looked skyward and said) "Where, where?"

What's that ugly thing on your neck? OOOH..... Its your face!

Q- What did one ghost say to another? A. "bo you believe in people?"

Four-word story of employment: Hired, tired, mired, and fired.

Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.

What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? Some traffic signs say stop

Smart boss + smart employee = profit. Smart boss + dumb employee = production. Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion. Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime.

Maine tujhe dekha dekhta hi gaya dekhta
hi gaya Aur fir Phir ek din mujhe
"CHASHMA" LAGGAYA."

How do u occupy an idiot?

Press down...





Press up...





Press Down...!

Y MEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)dey r useless until u turn dem on 2)dey have lots of data but r still clueless 3)as soon as u pick 1,a better model cums on the market!

Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Applicant:'Tm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

Son: Dad, what is the difference between LOVE, RELIEF & BELIEF?
Father: Your Mom is my LOVE, Your maid is my RELIEF, I'm your Dad - well, that is my BELIEF.

Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.

U know what they say about women with BIG mouths....??......??.....they have BIG smiles.

Umeed aisi ho jo jeene ko majboor kare,
Raah aisi ho jo chalne ko majboor kare,
Mahak kam na ho kabhi apni dosti ki,
Yaari aisi ho jo milne ko majboor kare

My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."

What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed!

I would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!

Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!

You should know what it takes to look this cheap!

My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...

When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!

Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???

This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."

I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!

One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.