Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 171

God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!

The longest sentence known to man: "I do."

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

U r the ACCENT of my Life,

ALTO of my Dreams,

IKON of my Eyes,

ZEN of my Thoughts,

INDICA of my Joy,

LANCER of my Heart.

Can anyone clear this TRAFFIC JAM plzz

Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.

Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks you're an asshole!

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.

Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?



A: We don't know. Never happens.

Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.

HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!

ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.

Those Saprkling Eyes

Those Marvelous Lips

A 100 Watt Smile

The Majestic Walk

The Cheerful Talk

Truly Charming Personality

Guess, That's Enough abt ME

The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me

Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

A:About 45 pounds!!

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.

U Look at the Ocean, see GOD's Abundance !

U Look at the Sky, see GOD's Wonder !

U Look at the Moon, see GOD's Glory !

And when U Look at the Mirror, see GOD's BLUNDER !!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.