Funny Questions Quotes - Page 4

Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A. They''re trying to get away from the noise.

Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?
A. Ugly sheep.

Q. Where do you find a no legged dog?
A. Right where you left him.

Q. What''s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.

Q. Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A. He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

Q. Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A. He''s all right now.

Who Wants 2 B A
$MILLIONAIRE$
Let''s play?
Q.Nobody likes u
cos u r a:
A.Prick B.Wanka
C.Rsole D.Twat
50/50?
phone a friend?
RING ME! I''LL
TELL U!

Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn''t take his foot of the accelerator.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she''s got a hand grenade in her mouth

Q. What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs ???......
A. A clit around the ear and a flap across the face

Q. What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?
A. They can smell it but they cant eat it!

Q. Why don''t they have any toilet paper in KFC?
A. Because its finger licking good!

Q. Why don''t guys like to preform oral sex on a woman the morning after sex?
A. Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

Q. Whats the difference between a wife and a girlfriend ?
A. 3 Stone !

Q. What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A. Mega-saur-ass

Q. Why dont blind men skydive?
A. Because it scares the shit out of the dog

Q. How can you tell when a women is having a bad day?
A. She has her tampon behind her ear,and she can`t find her cigarette.

Q. What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
A. If we don''t get some support soon, people will think we''re nuts!

Q. What does a guy and a car have in common?
A. They both have the ability to misfire.

Q. What''s the last thing that goes through a fly''s mind when it hits a windscreen?
A. It''s arse!

Q: Why doesn''t a chicken wear pants?
A: Because his pecker is on his head!

Q. What''s blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it''s breath

Q. What''s pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff

Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.

Q: What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs?
A: A clit round the ear and a flap across the face

Q: What do you do when your wife''s staggering?
A: Shoot her again.

Q: Why do woman get their belly buttons pierced?
A: So they have a place to hang a air freshener!

Q. What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs ???......
A. A clit around the ear and a flap across the face

Q. What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?
A. They can smell it but they cant eat it!

Q. Why don''t they have any toilet paper in KFC?
A. Because its finger licking good!

Q. Why don''t guys like to preform oral sex on a woman the morning after sex?
A. Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

Q. Whats the difference between a wife and a girlfriend ?
A. 3 Stone !

Q. What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A. Mega-saur-ass

Q. Why dont blind men skydive?
A. Because it scares the shit out of the dog

Q. How can you tell when a women is having a bad day?
A. She has her tampon behind her ear,and she can`t find her cigarette.

Q. What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
A. If we don''t get some support soon, people will think we''re nuts!

Q. What does a guy and a car have in common?
A. They both have the ability to misfire.

Q. What''s the last thing that goes through a fly''s mind when it hits a windscreen?
A. It''s arse!

Q: Why doesn''t a chicken wear pants?
A: Because his pecker is on his head!

Q. What''s blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it''s breath

Q. What''s pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff

Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.

Q: What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs?
A: A clit round the ear and a flap across the face

Q: What do you do when your wife''s staggering?
A: Shoot her again.

Q: Why do woman get their belly buttons pierced?
A: So they have a place to hang a air freshener!

Q. Why did the skeleton not go to the party?
A. It had nobody to go with

Q. What do you call a leper in a bath?
A. Soup!

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water?
A: Bob

Q. What has two legs and bleeds easily?
A. Half a dog.