Q: What is a zebra? A: 26 sizes larger than A bra.
Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A: A nervous wreck.
Q: What do you call Santa''s helpers? A: Subordinate Clauses.
Q: Where do you find a no legged dog? A: Right where you left him.
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor? A: A pachydermatologist
Q.) Did you hear about the cannibal who was late for the dinner party?? A.) He was given the cold shoulder!
Q: How can you tell ET is a Port Vale fan? A: Because he looks like one.
Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? A: Polaroids.
Q: What''s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? A: Anyone can roast beef.
Q: What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand? A: Quatro sinko.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite.
Q: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? A: He''s all right now.
Q. What streets do ghosts haunt? A. Dead ends!
Q: What do the letters D.N.A. stand for? A: National Dyslexics Association.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn''t work? A: A stick.
Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? A: Sanka. And what kind of lettuce? Iceberg.
Q: What do you call cheese that isn''t yours? A: Nacho Cheese.
Q: Where do you get virgin wool from? A: Ugly sheep.
Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? A: They all have phones.
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? A: He sold his soul to Santa
Q: How do crazy people go through the forest? A: They take the psycho path.
Q: How do you get holy water? A: Boil the hell out of it.
Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a light bulb? A: She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment.
Q: Why does Alan Pardew keep visiting Argos? A: Because that''s the only way he can pick up any Premier points!
Q: What''s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? A: The taste.
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: They''re trying to get away from the noise.
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: Because they have big fingers.
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It may take a while for me to get hard, I just got laid yesterday.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.
Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? A: Dam.
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