Funny Quotes Wishes and Status Messages

The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected.

'Newton's' 5th law:
'loose motion never comes in slow motion....'
don't laugh..! it true..

If your attitude is strong enough to kill me,

Mine is intelligent enough to haunt you after my death..!!

Roj roj Weight naap ke kya karna hain, ek
din sab ko marna hain, chaar din zindagi
ke, hassi khushi kaat le mere dost,agale
janam me fir 2.5 kgse hi to start karna
hain!!!

Boy says:
ye jo aag dil mai lagi hai zamane mai laga dunga.
Uski doli jo uthi
to.
To.
Koi baat nahi telented hoon dusri pata lunga.

Updesh:
Daru pine se jindgi ki problem
solve nahi hoti.
Gyaan:
Aise to juice pine se bhi…
problem
solve nahi hoti.
Isliye karo wohi jo lage sahi..!!

BEST QUOTE:

"Dont worry when you walk through Your LIFE...

Coz U ve tied me Tightly on your shoes and I wont make U Fall"..:-)

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do

Heart touching message:
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Having a wife is part of living.. But having girlfriends along with wife is
'Art of Living'

I''m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That''s deep enough. What do you want -- an adorable pancreas?

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.

You''ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you''ve got it made.

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

I believe in getting into hot water. I think it keeps you clean.

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn''t give it up, because by that time I was too famous.

A verbal contract is not worth the paper it''s written on.

Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I''m not there, I go to work.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.

I always divide people into two groups. Those who live by what they know to be a lie, and those who live by what they believe, falsely, to be the truth.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I''m schizophrenic, and so am I.

A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead.

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it''s filled with wisdom. Sometimes it''s filled with feet.

I really didn''t say everything I said.

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

Always forgive your enemies -- Nothing annoys them so much.

I don''t care what is written about me as long as it isn''t true.

Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40 years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil.

Every crowd has a silver lining.