Hindi Jokes Wishes and Status Messages

Ladko ko sabse jayada Gussa kab ata hai??
Jab ek ladka do cute sweet Girls ke Beech mein Baitha ho
Aur teesri ladki ke aane ke baad Autowala kahta hai-Bhai tu aage aaja

Boy to girl:-Tum nahati nahi ho kya.
Girl:- Nahi toh, roj nahati hu, par tum ne aise kyun pucha.
Boy:- kabhi dekha nahi na isliye. ha ha...!.

Gabbar - kitne aadmi the.
Kaliya- pata nahi sardar me to ladkiya dekh raha tha.

Gunde ka beta oral exan mein fail ho gaya.
Aur aakar apne baap se bola, un logon ne 3 ghante tak mere se puchtach ki magar apun bhi teri aulaad hai saala kush nhi bola..:D

Lambi chutti ke baad Monday ko

Sirf shareer Office jata hai.. .
aatma nahin.. !!!

Geeta bhaag 2

Ek Ladke Ne Ek Ladki Ko Kamal Ka Phul Diya
Ladki Ne Usko Ek Thappad Mar Diya,
Ladka Bola Me To BJP Ka Parchar Kar Raha Hu,
Ladki Boli Me Bhi Congress Ka Parchar Kar Rahi Hu.

Pyaar or Dosti me race ho rahi ho to kon Jitega?
Ans: Koi nai Kyuki dosti hamesha samjota kr leti hai, Or pyar hamesha kurbani de deta Hai.

If boys vomit then parents says kaminey kaha kha kar aaya tha,
If girls vomit then parents says kaun tha woh kamina,
Moral of the story: Whoever vomits boys are always kaminey…

Judge – You are crossing the limits.
Lawyer – Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge – How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer – My Lord, I said kaun ‘Sa Law’ kehta hai?

Santa Doodh Wale Ki Dukaan Pe Jata Hai,
Aur Kehta Hai.

Santa: Tumhari Shop Ka Doodh Kharab Hai,
Sharbat Mein Dala Phatt Gya
Doodh Wale Ne Hairani Se Poocha:
Konse Sharbat Mein Dala Tha?
Santa: Niimboo Pani Mein

Ek din Santa ne apni premika ko himmat jutakar keh dala – I love you.

Premika (Gusse se) : Jara pyar se nahi keh sakte?

Santa : I love you Didi!!!!

Pati aur patni ghumne gaye.
Raaste me ek gadhe ko ghaas kata dekh patni ne pati se kaha – Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas kha raha hai, namaste karo.
Pati – Namaste Sasur Ji

Banta: Kal Mujhe 10 logon ne Peeta
Santa: Phir tune kya kiya
Banta: Maine kha saalon ek ek karke ao
Santa: Phir
Banta: Phir kya Saalo ne ek ek karke dubaara peeta.

Husband: Meri wife gum ho gye Hai !
Post Master: Andhe ye post office hai Police Station jao.
Husband: Maaf kijye ga khusi me smjh nhi aa rha kidhar jaun.

One day Wife and husband went zoopark.
Suddenly tiger jump 2 his wife.
Wife:shoot it...shoot it......
Husband:just wait darling. camera his not working. Let me change the battery.????????

Santa : Yaar aaj mein bus ke peeche peecha daudkar 15 rupees bacha liye.

Banta : Kya yaar, tum to bahut murkh ho, agar taxi ke peeche bhagte to 150 rupees bachta!

Ek sabzi wale ke ghar bacha paida hua,
To ek aurat bache ko dekh ke boli:
Kitna pyara bacha hai ?
Sabzi wala aadat ke mutabik bola Aur hai bhi Bilkul taaza.

Santa Banta Ko Gusse Se Bol Raha Tha.

Santa: Yaar, Jab Mene Tujhe Khat Likha Tha Ki
Meri Shaadi Par Jaroor Aana,
Tum Aaye Kyun Nahi?
Banta: Ohh Yaar,
Par Mujhe Koi Khat Mila Hi Nahi.
Santa: Mene Likha To Tha Ki
Khat Mile Ya Na Mile Tum Zaroor Aana.

Kya Zamana Aa Gaya Hai Dosto.
.
.
Student 1 Ladki Ko Ghaseet Ke
School Le Jaa Rahe The.
.
.
1 Buzurg Bole:
Isko Chhod Do Ye Khud School Chali Jayegi
.
.
.
Student: Baba Ji Ye Hamari Madam Hai
Roz School Se Date Par Bhag Jaati Hai!

2 sardar train ke pichhe bhaag rahe the.
1 chad gaya to train me logon ne kaha " WEL DONE"..
Sardar- Oh shit!!..jana to use tha,mai to chhodne aaya tha..

Heart Attack Wali Beizzati :P

Girl To Boy: Jannu Koi Aisi Bat Kaho,
Jismei Dukh B Ho Or Khushi B.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy: You R So Beautiful Aunty Ji.

Ek Baar Santa Circus Dekhne Jata Hai.

Toh Circus Mein Ladki Ne Sher Ko Kiss Kiya.
Ring Mastar: Aap Mein Se Koi Yeh Kaam Kar Sakta Hai?
Santa: Main Aata Hoon Na,
Par Pehle Iss Sher Ko Peeche Karo.

Raat ko kitab meri mujhe dekhty rhee…
neend mujhe apni orr khenchti rhee…
Neend ka jhonka mera mann moh gayaa…
Aur aik raat phir yeh genious bina padhe so gaya …..

A New Offer! Call rates ab Dimaag ke size ke hisaab se honge. Jitna chota dimag utne kam call rates.
Congrats!!! U r chosen for FREE CALLS.

Ek Baar Santa Apni Biwi Ke Saath Jaa Raha Tha,
Raste Mein Usse Ek Dost Mila
Jisse Police Ne Pakda Hua Tha.

Santa Ne Usse Puchha: Kya Hua?
Dost: Mene Apni Biwi Ko Maar Dala
Santa Kuch Sochte Huye: Saza Kya Mili Hai?
Dost: 6 Hafte
Santa: Bass Yaar, 6 Hafte
Santa Ne Aav Dekha Na Taav Fatafatt
Police Ki Gun Lee Or Apni Biwi Ko Maar Dala
Dost Rote Hue: Abe Sale,
Yeh Tune Kya Kiya?
Puri Baat To Sunta,
6 Hafte Baad Muje Phaansi Ha.

Santa Ek Din Bijli Ki Dukaan Mein:
Do Fan Dena Ek Ladies Aur Ek Gents.
Dukaan Wala: Fans Mein Ladies Aur Gents Nahi Hota Yar!
Santa: Kyon Nahi Hota Ji
Ek Bajaj Ka De Aur Ek Usha Ka…

Santa Biology Padhte Hue 1 Sawal Aaya.
Badal Kale Kyu Hote Hai.
Banta - Kuch Der Sochte Hu.
Are Pagal Agar Badal Roj Dhup Me,
Khule Ghumenge To Wo Kale Hi Ho Jayenge.

Kabhi noton ke liye mare,
Kabhi voton ke liye mare,
Kabhi jat-pat ke naam par mare,
Agar hote Vir Bhagat Singh to kehte
“Yaar Sukhdev, Hum bhi kin logon ke liye mare.

Santa ne Banta se kaha,
”Sabse bada challenge kya hai?”
Banta replied – Answer sheet ko khaali chod do
Aur last me likh dena, paas karke dikha.

Sardar ke bagiche me bahut sare ped the,
Sardar naukar ko bola ped ko pani dal.
Naukar bola saab barish aah raha hai,
Sardar: abe budhu chhatri pakadke dal na!.