Hindi Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 59

Husband:Hypnotize karna kisay kehtay hain???
Wife:kisi ko apnay control main kar k us say apni marzi k kaam karwanay ko kehtay hain,
Husband:Chal jhooti usay tou Shaadi kehtay hain

Santa: Tumnay new car kb li?
Banta: Ek din ek larki mujhey apni car mai bhita kar lay gai, aur
kapray utar kar boli jo chahiye lay lo, maine car lay li
Santa: Changa keeta kapray ki karnay siiiiii (well done, what you will do with cloths!)

Wt s de bigest pressure 4 Pak captain wn Pak neds 1 run 2 win in 8 ovrs,wd 5 wickets in hand?

Ya Allah!How 2 speak English in presntaton ceremony?

Munna : Yaar Circuit ,ye gandhiji Har note me haste kuy rehte hai?
Circuit:Simple hai bhai! Royenge to note gila ho jaye ga......

Santa: Dr.Sahab 2 SalPehle Mujhe Bukhar Aya Tha...
Dr:To Ab Kya Hua.



Santa: aap ne Nahane ko Mana Kiya Tha

Naha Lu?

Dr:jab apko pta tha chipkali apke kaan me ghus rahi hai to aap chup Q the?
Santa:pahle Cockroach gaya tha to muje laga ki chipkali use pakdne ja rhi thi

Wife to husband:Uttho raat ke 2 baje he,
Husband to wife:Itni raat ko q uthaya
Wife to husband:Aapne neend ki goli nahi li .

Santa: Main ek baar jungle mein susu karne gaya toh waha per Sher tha.
Banta: Phir kya hua?

Santa: Maine Sher se kaha, “Pehle tum karlo, mera toh ho gaya hai.”

1 pathan ne jali note banaya orr Quaid-e-azam ki topi bhol gaya
Jab dukandar ko dia tou dukandar ne kaha:
Iski tou topi nahi hay.

Pathan Bola:
Ye Quaid-e-azam lala ki garmion ki tasveer hay...=P;->

Naukrani ne malkin se kaha, memsahab gajab ho gaya, pados ki teen auraten aap ki saas ko peet rahi hai.

Malkin naukrani ke saath balakani se aayi aur chupchap tamasha dekhne lagi.
Naukarani ne poocha, aap madad karne nahi jayengi?

Malkin: Nahi uske liye teen hi kaafi hai.

GADHE ke samne 1 PAANI ki & 1 DARU ki balti rakhi'
GADHA Paani pi gaya.
Police ne sharabi se pucha- Tune is se kya sikha???


Sharabi- Jo DAARU nahi pita vo GADHA hai...

Pathan BLOOD Ke bare mein book parh raha tha

Wife: Aaj yeh book kyu parh rahe ho ji?
Pathan: Mujhe doctor ne kaha hai ke kal mera BLOOD test hai iss liye test ki tayari kar raha hoon.

Raat ke 2 baje ek admi bahu ke kamre
se nikla aur chala gaya.
Saas ne dekha lekin kuch na boli
Kyu…

Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi!

Santa: Tu office mein toh bada sher bana ghumta hai, ghar par kya ho jata hai?
Banta: Hota toh sher hi hoon par DURGA sawar ho jaati hai…

Mukesh & Anil have been advised to take large doses of Hajmola!!
Why???
?
?
?
Bcoz Hajmola guarantees to solve al ur GAS problems!! ;-)

Chintoo : Aaj maine apni class mein sabse pyaari larki ko phansa li..

Friend : Woh kaisey?
Chintoo : “Class lagi thi.. Maine kaghaz ka jahaz bana ke Phainka. Jahaza teacher ke pass chala gaya. Uss ne ghusey se poocha yeh kiss ne phainka? Maine us larki ka naam le liya aur who phans gaye bichari

Banta selling Parashut : Plane se kudo, Button Dabao, Aur aap zamin pe safely land!
Custmer : Agar Parashut na khula to?
Banta : O G paise wapas.

1 pathan chilkay sameat kela kha raha tha,
kisi ne us ko toka,
is ko cheel to lo.
pathan bola : chelne ka kia zarorat he humko malum he is K andr kia he.

Teacher Pathan Se: Batao Allama Iqbal Kaha Peda Huwe oR Unhone Kaha Taleem Hasil Ki?

PATHAN : Wo Hospital Men Peda Huwe oR School Men Taleem Hasil Ki, ;-)

santa ji aapko kabhi kisise pyar hua hai
santa-han,par woh manti hi nahin
kya bolti hai?
bolti hai i love u 2
par yeh dusra kaun hai?

husband wife se bola
hata lo apne chehre se ye zulfe
E jane-e-tamanna
khuda kasam agli baar khane me baal aya to
SAJNI
Se
GHAJANI
bana
dunga.....

vo kaun sa dept h jahan aurte kam nahi kar sakti?

santa fire bregade.

banta vo kyon??

santa kyonki aurto ka kam to aag lagana hota hai.

aag bhughana nahi

Kitne % bhartiyon ko lgta hy k Salman Khan
Katrina Kaif se Shadi Krega?
Ans:10%
bcoz
Rest of the 90% wnts to marry Katrina Kaif themself

Sherni ke ghar waalo ne haathi ka rishta kyon
Nahi liya…? socho…?
Thoda sa aur socho…socho. ..socho.. .
Yaar unke ghar ka aapsi maamla hai,
Tumko kya lena dena hai.

kabhi wafa se pyaar mt krna
Q mt karna ? maare jaoge
Q maare jaoge ?
Qki wafa OSAMA ki .bati ka naam hai....

American: Hamare desh me war
hogaya.
Santa: Hamare india me tho roz war
hotha hai!
American: o kaise?
Santa: Somwar. Mangalwar. Budhwar.

guest host se- main khana kha raha hoon par ye kutta mujhe kyun dekh raha hai?
host- ye kutta apni plate achhi tarah pehchanata hai.

Wife:raat ko ghar me chor aaya or mujhe kiss karke chala gaya.

Pati- tumne roka nahi?
Wife- bhut kaha tha rukne ke liye, bola fir aaonga.....

LALU-Rabri tum meri CHAND ho.
RABRI-ye ji ...humko CHAND-VAND mat kahiye sasura america bale daily chadhte hai.

Santa: Kela kitne ka hay?
Kelay wala: 1 rupay ka ek.
Santa Ji: Kela 60 paisay ka do gay?
Kelay wala: 60 paisay ka Kelay ka chilka milay ga.
Santa Ji: Ok! ye lay 40 paise
kela mujhe day chilka to rakh.