Hindi Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 63

Joke of the day:
LALU bus k uper khada tha. Raste me TUFAAN aya or unki DHOTI ud Gyi, Phir BIJLI KADKI...
LALU - Ek to hamaar dhoti Cheen li, Upar se Sasura Fotu Lewat hai..

Kisi ko board main number barhwane hon

to mujhe Naam or roll number Sms Kardain.
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Mai dua kronga..:->

MALIK:abhi tak tujse machar nahi mare ? mere kano me gunguna rahe hain.
NOKAR: sahab maine machar maar diye hai ye to unki biwiyaan hain jo vidhwa ho ke ro rahi hai

Zardari MILK SHOP per gaya

Zardari= Bhai 1 kilo Doodh dena kuttay k liye

Doodh wala= Yaheen piyo ge
Ya
Pack kardon?

man knocks d door.
a 10yr old boy cum wid
cigrate & beer in othr.
man:beta papa ghar pe hai
boy:bhutni k,mujhe dekh k lagta,papa ghar pe honge?

Sardar: Agr 1 Hathi Sui k Surakh me se guzarne ki koshish kr rha ho

to usy rokny k lie kia krna chahye?

Pathan: Us ki dum pe girah laga do, phans jae ga…

Santa : pehle me apni biwi ko BA karwaunga fir MA fir Phd karwaunga fir badiya si naukri dilwaunga.

Banta : fir acha sa rishta dekh k uski shaadi bhi krwa diyo

Teacher : you are late today,
school 7 baje lag jata hai or tum ab aa rahe ho???

Student : sir aap mer fikar na kia karen
aap school shuru karwa dia karen.

santa- 1+1=3 karna ho to? do ki shadhi karwa do

banta- 1+1=11 karna ho to? do ka nikha karva do

Aadmi Apne Bachay Se
Baita Sharab Mat Peena Wrna
Yeh Jo 2 Aadmi Ja Rahay Hain Tumhain
4 Nazar Ayeinge.
Bacha: Magar Abbu Wo To 1 Aadmi Hai..

SANTA: (biwi se) Koi aisi baat kaho mujhse ke mere pair zameen par na rahe.
BIWI: Tujhe phansi kyu nahi laga lende

Bhikhari: Sahib ik rupaiya de do.

Sahib: Kal anna.

Bhikhari: Iss kal kal ke chakkar mein iss colony mein mere lakhon rupaiye fasse hue hai!

Do arabi ek dosre ko arabi main galiyan de rahe tahe
qareeb se guzarte hue pathan ne un se kaha:
Bhaiyon! humare liye bhi dua karna.

SANTA: DUBAI me sub kuch FREE hai
TAXI
HOTEL
KHANA
PINA
YAHA TAK
SEX BHI
FREE HAI
BANTA : are yaar TU kub gaya tha
SANTA; mai nahin meri bibi jakar ayi hai

What do u cal elephants knee?
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Gajni.
Itna b nahi samjhate.

Boy 2 Girl- Frindship karogi.?
Girl- Mere Ghar wale allow nahi karte.
Boy- Ha, Mere Ghar walo ne to jaise mujhe Aashiqui Society ki Membership Dila rakhi hai..

Doctor: App k bachhe ki taang katni pdegi


Santa:Pehle btana tha me bache ke new shoes nhi leta

Bas chali, Jhatka laga
1 ladka 1 ladki par ja gira.
Ladki boli, Badtamez! Kya kar rahe ho??
Ladka bola, Vidyapeeth University se BAMS!!

Santa To Bill Gates:- Tussi Bade Pagal Ho!!
Bill Gates:- How????????
Sardar:- Surname Gates Rakha Hai............ Aur Bussiness Windows.... Ka Karte Ho????

Santa was riding a cycle n hit a girl!
Girl shouted- 'Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha???'
Santa replied- 'Poori cycle to maar di! Ab ghanti alag se maaroon kya!!'

Ox- ae kya bolti tu
Cow- Ae kya mein bolu
Ox- sun
Cow- Suna
Ox- ati kya gaushala
Cow- kya kru, a k me saushala
Ox- are mundi hilynge, ghaschabaynge, gobar failaenge or kya

99 saal ka Buddha mar k swarg pahuncha!
Apsaraon ka Dance dekh kar bahut pachhtaya!
Bola- Baba Raamdev k chakkar me na padta to kabka yahan aa gaya hota!!

Banta- Tumhara Bhai Gora Aur Tum Kale Kaise Ho?

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Santa- Kyo K.. Me Raat Ko Paida Hua Tha Aur Wo Subah Hua Tha..!!

Musharraf_ Jab mein paida hua to 51 topen chali thi..

Santa- Kamal hai! Sabka nishana chook gaya?

Bahu ka 1st Affair sunne k baad Sasur ne Bahu ko mara!
2nd Affair pata lagne par Pati ne mara!
Lekin Saas har baar chhup rahi!
WHY??
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KYUNKI SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI!! ;-)

Nayi(new) doctor ne apni life ka pehla operation kiya! Operation ki thodi der baad hi marij mar gaya!

Marij ke marne ke baad doctor ne diwar par tangi bhagwan ki taswir ki ore haath jodkar sir jhukate hue puri shradha ke saath kaha: Hey prabhu meri ore se yeh pehli bhet swikar kijiye!

1 baar 1 haathi swimming pool me gir gaya
usme chintiyan nha rahi sabhi chintiyan bahar nikal aayi 1 chinti hathi ke sharir par rah gyi
sabhi bolne lagi
dooba saale ko ladkiyo ko chhedta hai

Friend1: Are yaar ye mobile to mujhe kangaal kar dega.

Friend2: Kyu?

Friend1: Baar baar dikhaata hai “Battery Low” ab tak 56 battery badal chuka hoon!

Santa ke ghar Ladki ne janam liya..

Banta: jab ladki badi hogi to ladke ise chedenge.
Santa: Maine iska intejaam kar liye hai.
Banta: kya kiya?



Santa: Ladki ka naam DIDI rakh diya hai

Fauji officer- Jawan agar tum jangal me bhatk jao to kya karogay ?
Santa - Sir, hum GEEDAR dhund k marne ki koshish karenge.
Officer - wo kyu ?
Santa - Sir, jab GEEDAR ki maut aati hai to shehar ki tarf bhagta hai, aur hum us k piche - 2 shehar aa jaenge...