Hindi Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 64

Bahu:Maaji ye abhi tak nahi aye
kahi koi dusri Aurat?
Saas:kalmuhi tu hamesa ulta Sochti h
aisa B to ho Sakta h kisi truck k niche agya ho

Santa:
Yaar Koi Aisa Karobaar Bata Jis Mein Ziada Munaafa Ho?

Banta:
Aisa Kar Sardiyon Main Sasti Baraf Le Kar Garmiyon Main Baich Dy

Santa subah Tatti gaya..
Bahut der tak nahi aayi
Usne fir try kiya par nahi aayi
Santa bola are aa q nahi rahi hai !
Me kaun sa tujhe kha jaunga !

Larka: Tum kitni haseen ho,

Larki: choro na

Larka: tumhari ankhain kitni haseen hain,

Larki: choro na tum be

Larka: itni dair se chor hi to raha hoØn.

Santa -Apki shadi ho
Gayi?
Banta -Haji,1ladki se hui hai.
Santa -Shaadi to ladki se hi hoti hai
Banta -Nahi ji meri bahan ki to ladke Se hui hai

Sir: kal class me kyu absent tha?
Boy: girlfriend se milne gaya tha.
Sir: kis liye?
Boy: yes Sirr.. bauhat saare KISS liye

American: Humare kutte to bomb dhondh lete ha

Japani:HAMARI machliyan to foot ball khel lete ha

Pakistani:Ye to kuch bi ni hamare to ghadhe bi sms perh lete ha

santa : sholay ke waqt kitne aadmi the...








banta : mujhe kya pata shooting ke samy mai wahan nahi tha

Ek sharabi bus me sawar hua
seat pr bethe molvi ne kaha k tum jhannum k raste par ja rahe ho.
Sharabi chila kar bola
O ruko ruko

me galat bus me beth gaya hon

Santa se kissi ne poocha k santa ji agar app ko garmi lagy to app
kya karo gay?
santa bola jenab hum a.c k pass ja k beth jain gay,
admai ne bola jenab agar phir bhi appko garmi lagy to kya karo gay?
santa bola, jenab tab hum a.c on kar lain gay.

Pathan Watchman ne Sher (Lion) ka pinjra khula chhor diya..

Officer: Tumne sher ka pinjra lock nahi kya?

Pathan: Kya zaroorat hai,
Usko kon chori karega?

1st child-mere papa bhahut darpok hai.2nd child-kaise?ist child-jab bhi road cross karte hai meri ungli pakad lete hai.

dad apnay betay ki kamyabi per khush ho kar bola,
mang beta jo mangna hay,
beta: dad sochnay kay leyae 1 min dain.
Thori dair baad beta bola dad mujhay car chaheay,
dad: beta tum nay 1 min manga tha woh mene deydiyah
ab aish karo.

Santa: Express kitne baje ki hai?

TT:1 baje

Santa: local?

TT:9 baje

Santa: maalgadi?

TT:12 baje

TT:jana kahan hai?

Santa: Patri pe potti karni hai...!!

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.


Banta : Yaar udas kion ho?
Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.

Santa ne PCO pe jate hi PCO wale ko 2 thappad laga diye. Socho kyon?
Because PCO ke bahar likha tha, dial karne se pahle 2 lagaye...

son:papa apko yad hai app ne kaha tha ke agar tum pass ho gaye to tumhe 5000rs milge ...
dad:hian mujhe yad hai.
son: papa good news hai appke 500 rs bach gaye

1 Pathan hamesha Apne Mobile K Saath 1 Scissor Rakhta Tha,
Kisi Ne Poocha??
“Khan Saab Ye Konsi Science Hai ?”
Pathan: :”O Yaara Kbhi Kbhi Call Katna B Par Jata Hy Na

Tcher-Water ka formula batao
-
Snta-H2 MgCl NaCl HNO3O
-
Tcher-Ye kya hai?
-
Snta-Sir ye Delhi ka pani hai.

Bania market jata hai underwear purchase karne.

Bania: Yeh kitne ka hai?

Shopkeeper: Rs 500.

Kanjoos Bania: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahi.

Santa:-yar uth bhukamp aa rha hai sara ghar hill raha hai. Banta:- soja yaar ghar to makanmalik ka hi girega!!!

Khan: Yar Abi Tumhara Amma Ka Khansi Kaisa Hay?
Friend: Band Ho Gai Hay, Magar Sans Ruk Ruk K Aa Rahi Hay
Khan: Koi Bat Nai,Allah Kary Ga,Wo Bi Band Ho Jaye Ga

Santa bahut pareshaan tha usse kisi ne pucha santa itne pareshaan kyu ho to santa bola are yaar ek dost ko plastic surgury ke liye 2 lakh rupayee diye the ab phechan nahi paa raha hoo.

Baniya 14floor se neche gira
Girte hue usne apni gharKi khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NA PAKANA!

Santa public toilet gaya aur ek gante aad nikla.
Bahar baita jamadar bola- 20rs
Santa-saale... bathroom me baita tha... koi cyber cafe me nahi...

Jo hamesha hasta raheta hai usko HUSMUKH kahte hai

Aur jiska hasna bilkul hi bandh ho gaya hai use kya kehte hai?

HUSBAND

Santa: Station tak jane ke kitne paise?
Rikshawala: 10 Rs
Santa: 2 Rs mein chalega to theek hai
Rikshawala: 2 Rs mein kaun le ke jayega?
Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon.

Banta-Ye chitthi tum kise likh rahe ho?
Santa-khud ko
Banta-Isme kya likha hai ?
Santa-maloom nahi
Banta-kyu?
Santa-Abhi mujhe mili kaha hai

Santa: Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho gaya to isi doctor se shadi kar Lena.
Jeeto: Aise kyo kah rahe ho?
Santa: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi 1 rasta hai!