Hindi Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 71

Hubby(wife se)- kamwali Shanti ko bulao.
wife- kyu?
Hubby- Doctor ne bola hai ki raat ko tonik aur goli khao
Aur shanti ke sath so jao..!

Ramu- In aalu ke paraathon me aalu nazar nahi aa rahe he!!
Shyamu- Yaar naam par mat ja, Kashmiri pulav me kabhi kashmir nazar aata he kya?

Suiside me asafal Pati se Patni boli- Cheez dekhkar kharida karo. Zaher ke paise bhi gaye aur jis kaam ke liye liy tha vo bhi pura nahi hua.

Beta: Papa, Log chand pe gaye, hum suraj pe jayenge.
Papa: Suraj ki garmi se hum jal jayenge.
Beta: Koi baat nahi, hum raat mein jayenge.

Biwi gusse me pati se:
Jab dekho jeb me sharab ki bottle rakhe rahte ho.!
Pati: To tu kya chahti he? Har waqt honton se lagaye rakhu kya?

Old man to Class teacher-
Sir, BUNTY ko Bula do.
Sir- Aap kaun?
Old man- Main Uska Dada.
Sir- Wo Chhutti Lekar Aapki MAYYAT me Gaya hai.

2 bachhon ki maa tisri baar shadi kar rahi thi. Shadi k waqt chota bacha rone laga.
Maa boli: Chup ho ja, warna agli baar sath nahi laungi.

YOU ARE A BANDAR.MEANS;
B:Beautiful,
A:Attractive,
N:Naughty,
D:Diffarant,
A:And,
R:Respected.
oy jyada khus hone ki jarurat nahi hai ,Ho to bandar hi na!!!.

Murga- I love you.
Murgi- Hahaha, tum mere liye kya kar sakte ho?
Murga- Kuch bhi kar sakta hun.
Murgi- Ok. chalo ek anda dekar dikhao.!!

Antar-Mantar
Jaadu-Jantar
Chhhoo.
Kuch Mahsoos Hua?
Nahi Na?
Jaadugar Ne Bhi Yahi Kaha Tha Ki
ye mantra sirf insaano pe asar karta he.

Jyotishi- Aaj teri patni ko dhan-laabh hoga.
Aadmi- Aap sach kah rahe he, aaj main apna purse ghar pe bhool aaya hun.

Bhoot Ne Tapasya Ki. God Khush Hoke Bole- Vardan Maang
Bhoot: Muze Khubsurat Ladkiyon Ka Khoon Chusna He.
God: Tathastu, Ja Whisper Ban ja.

Ye batao ki aap mein aur pepsi mein kya samanta he?
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Both are cool, sab pasand karte he,
Most IMP- Dimag ki jagah dhakkan he

Girl: Excuse Me sir, Kya Aap Mere Chehre se 1 chiz hata sakte he?
Man (Khush Hoke): Haan, Zara Boliye To?
Girl: Apni nazar hata lijiye

Girl- Aajtak tune muze kiss nahi kiya, plz karo na.
Santa- No.
Girl- Kyu?
Santa- Bade log kahte he ki aurton ko munh nahi lagate.

Math Teacher: Agar tumhari dono pocket me 1000 rupees ho, to kya sochoge?
Sam: Main sochunga ki kahin maine papa ki pant to nahi pahen lee.

Santa was smoking in front of his father.
His friend- Oye papa ke samne smoking kar raha he?
Santa- Baapu he, koi petrol pump thodi na he.

Santa ko gadhe par college jane ka shok tha.
3 saal baad Santa ko akele jana pada.
Puchho Kyu?
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Kyuki Gadha graduate ho gaya tha.

Ek dost ne Santa se pucha- yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyu dekhta rehta he?





Santa- Yaar kuch bijli to unki bhi kharch hone do

Boy: Muze Mehnati, Sadgi Se Rehne Wali, Aagyakari, Ghar Sanwar kar Rakhne Wali Ladki Chahiye.
Girl: Mere Ghar Aake Meri Nokrani Ko Le Jana.

Employee: Aap meri salary badha djiye, meri shadi ho gayi he.
Boss: Factory ke bahar hone wali durghatna ke liye factory jimmedar nahi hoti

Conductor 2 student: Roj door pe khade rehto ho, tera baap watchman he kya?
Student: Tu humse roj paise mangta he, tere baap BHIKARI h kya?

Is Duniya me sirf Post-Man he, Post Woman nahi he.

Aakhir Kyu?

Why?
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Kyuki Wo Delivery Dene me 8-9 Mahine Laga Deti he.

Mayawati ik tree pe chadi.
Upar baithey Monkey ne poocha: Upar kyon aayi?
Mayawati: Apple khane.
Monkey: Yeh to aam ka tree hai.
Mayawati: Pata hai, Apple saath laayi

Gandhiji Ne Ahinsa Ka Rasta Hi Kyu Chuna..?
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Guess
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Socho
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Kyunki Dhishum Dhishum To Pepsodent ka kaam hai.

A new teacher joins school. He find 2 boys similar in appearance.
Teacher: Kya tum dono judwa ho?
Boys: Nahi, Hum dono padosi hai.

Santa- Jab main chhota tha tab is ped par chadh jata tha.
Banta- Kaise?
Santa- Tab ye ped bhi chhota tha yaar.

Teacher- Agar Main Teri Maa Hoti To Main Tuze 2 Dino Me Sudhaar Deti.
Student- Madam, Kal Tak Main Apne Papa Se Baat Karke Apko Bata Dunga.

Santa(Ladki ko chhedte huye)- Hi soniye, kya haal he?
Ladki(Gusse me)- Vahi Jo teri bahen ka he.
Santa(Hanskar)- Wo to pregnent he. Hahaha

Santa 5 minute me paper dekar exam hall se bahar aa gaya.
Sir: Paper nahi aata tha kya?
Santa: Actually wo agle paper ki taiyari karni he.