Hindi Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 85

hindu-Papa jaldi-2 mera viya kra deo nahi ta main DAADI nal viya kra lavanga.FATHER:oye tu meri MAA nal viya krayenga.!Srdar:-kyo tusi meri MAA nal ni krayea

Joke in 1 word-
hindu

joke in 2 words- hindu pandit

joke in 3 words- hindu playing chess !

joke in 4 words- hindu playing with donkey!

(Scene - Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
AJIT: “Robert, Ise varnish mein daal do,
saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi ho jaayega.

AJIT: Robert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur
debugger istarrt kar do.
Robert: Lekin kyoon, boss?
AJIT: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.

(Scene - Robert and Ajit are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs
a hole and water starts coming inside. Robert is perplexed !)
Robert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
AJIT: Robert Ek aur hole bana do, aur ek hole me IN
aur doosre me OUT likh do. Ek hole se paani ander aayega
aur doosre se bahar chala jayega !!

Asmanme panchi ud raha he furrrrr furrrrr
Asmanme panchi ud raha he furrrrr furrrrr
Asmanme panchi ud raha he furrrrr furrrrr
arey ashman me ud rahahe
to idhar kya dhund rahe ho ashmanme dekhona
ullu………..

Two boys ko 3 live Bomb milte hai… Wo un bombs ko police ko dene Jate hai……..
(raste mein… )
First boy: agar koi bomb raste mehi phat jaye to???
Second boy: jhoot bol denge ke 2 hi mile the .

(Scene - Ajit thoroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling’s typing.)
AJIT: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Robert: Magar kyoon boss ?
AJIT: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.

AJIT: Mona daarrling, tum Toni ke saath ghuumna band kar do,
Mona: Lekin kyon Boss?
AJIT: Bahut MonaToni ho jayegee…

Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
AJIT:Bewakoof………Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padegaa.!

AIK POLICE INSPECTER APNI BARAT WALI CAR MAIN BETHA LARKI WALOON KI TARAF JARAHA THA PECHAY BARATIAN KI BUS ARAHEE THE .................... POLICE INSPECTER NAY APNAY SATHI KO CALL KAR KAY KAHA KAY AIK BUS HUMARA BARI DAIR SAY PECHA KAR RAHEE HAY ISAY ROOK KAY CHECK KAROO

1 INDIAN FUJI APNI MAAN KO 1965 KAY JANG KI GOLA BARI KAY BARAY MAIN BATA RAHA THA TU US KI MAAN BOLI BETA TUM BHAG KAR DARAKHT (TREE) PAR CHAR JATAY TU FUJI BOLA AMAAN DARAKHT PEHLAY HI OFFICERS KAY LEAY KAM PAR GAEE THAY

(Scene - Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
AJIT: “Robert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal do.
Saale ko Society jeene nahin degi aur security marne nahin deg

Maikal: Boss, yeh aadmi to kuch bol hi nahin raha hai. Kya karen ?
Ajit: Ise revaalving chair mein daal do.Pata chal jaayega chakkar kya hai.

Boss: Raabert!
Robert: Yes, Boss
Boss: Yeh “bus” mein kuch hawa daal do.
Robert: Lekin, kyon bass?
Boss: Yeh bus “Airbus” ban jayegi

AJIT: Robert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Robert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.
Ajit: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega.
Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Robert: Yes Boss.
AJIT: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards,
tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai …….

gita me likha hai
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are yaha nahi gita me likha hai

2 indian fuji aik dosray kay sath fight kar rahay thay tu acha officer nay dekh lia aur ya kah kar un ka cot marshal kar dia kay humay larnay walay fuji nahi chaheay

Robert: Boss, mere teen bacche hue. Unko kya naam doon?
AJIT: Ek ka naam rakhna Peter, doosre ka Maikal,
aur teesre ka Cha Ling Chu.
Robert: Par Cha Ling Chu kyoon?
AJIT: Bewakoof, duniya ka har teesra bacchaa Chinese hota hai!

(Scene - Ajit get’s hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.)
AJIT: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
AJIT: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise range haathon pakad legi. he he he

Pars Chori Honey k Baad Larki Ka Reaction
Gareeb Larki : O Mere Pesay
Ameer Larki : O Mera Credit Card
Khubsurat Larki : O Shit Os Mein To Mere Boyfriend Ki Tasveer Thi.

Robert: Boss , Sona kahan hai ? ( Where is the Gold ? )
AJIT: Kahin par bhi so jao Robert !!

AJIT: “Robert, Harshad Mehta the Bull ka stool test karaao”
“Kyon boss?”
“Pata to chale akhir ye Bullshit kya hota hai”

A Memon saves life of an Arab by his rare blood group.
Arab rewards him with a mercedez.
Few days later arab again needed the blood,
Memon donates again.
Arab sent him "Till ke Laddoo",
Memon asked "why not new mercedes?"
Arab replied : "ab marey ander memon ka khoon gardish
ker raha
hai"

(Scene - Robert gets a sidey to Ajit.)
Robert: Boss, humne sidey ko pakad liya
AJIT: Ise maar ke pulees station ke saamne rakh do. Aur iske badan par ek sui chubha do.
Robert: Par sui kyon, boss!
AJIT: Bewakoof! Pulees yeh samjhegi ki sui-cide hua hai!

hamara chand hamare hi hantho kho gaya ……..
ab to naa hame uski yaad hai………….
naa woh hame yaad karta hai…………..
ab woh hamara nahi kisi aur ka ho gaya ………

KBC ME SHARUKH NE MUJH SE PUCHA.’WORLD KA SABSE BADA ULLU KON HAI? MENE 1 CRORE RS. THUKRA DIYE, LEKIN TERA NAAM NAHI BATAYA!

Robert: Iska kya kare Boss?
AJIT: Robert is ko liquid oxygen may daal do ! Liquid issay jeenay nahi day gaa, oxygen issay marnay nahi day gaa!

Ajeet: Raabutt, use TNT se uda do !
Robert: Lekin Boss, TNT kyon, dynamite kyon nahin ?
Ajeet: Bevokoof, is-se yeh NTT se nan-NTT ban jayega

Patient: Mjhe bemari hai. Na khaoon tu bhook lagti
hai,
Na soo tu Neend aati hai, Ziada kaam kr k thak jaata
hoon.

Doctor: Saari Raat Dhoop mai betho Theek hojaogay.