Insult Wishes and Status Messages - Page 21

I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

I think the sun shines out of your arse.

Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

Sure, I''d love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn''t have given you worse advice...

Save your breath...You''ll need it to blow up your date.

I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.

Shouldn''t you have a license for being that ugly?

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.

I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?

You''re about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder

Why don''t you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.

All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.

You started at the bottom...and it''s been downhill ever since!

I''d love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can''t count that high.

I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.

You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.

Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!

He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe

As you go through life you are going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut. Take advantage of all of them.

Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.

Do I look like a damn people person?

If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn''t say Hi to folk, I''d say BOO!

This isn''t an office. It''s Hell with fluorescent lighting

You''ve got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.

Haven''t I seen your face before - on a police poster?

You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!

Look who''s talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.