Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 2

Somewher In Africa...
A Black Boy To His Black Girlfriend
On A Romantic Night
Out Near D Sea Shore Askd Her.
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"Darling,where R U?".

Principal: what u want to becom in future?

Student: After studyin MBBS, I want to join Police force n gt good job in a good software company nd work as lawyer n construct big buildings n conduct research nd become actor..

Principal: Hey, Wat's ur name?

Student: Rajnikant!!

Chemistry at it's PeAk....

Teacher: What happen when Carbon monoXide react with 2 molecules of Iron? .

Student: Coffee.

Teacher: How??????

Student: Co+2Fe = COFFEE.

CID back;

Aaj khane me roti sabji aur dal hai.....

Wah..wah..

Aaj khane me roti sabji aur dal hai.....
Wah..wah..

Oh my god is khooni ki biwi to mall hai.....

A junior in an office dialed his boss's number by mistake & said :
Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in two minutes !......
Boss shouted : do you know whom you're talking to?!!!!!!
... Junior: no!
Boss: i'm the boss of this office.
Junior(in the same tone): & do u know whom you're talking to?
Boss: no!
Junior: thank God.(and disconnected the phone)..

Mother To Son:"Get up

you useless fellow,

Sun has already risen

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Son:"Hey relax mom, Sun sleeps earlier than me..

Obama to White House staff:-

"Just received a call from India.

Guy on the other side was totally silent !"

"Wonder who it might be !"

Boy: I love you
Girl: I hate you
Boy: why this kolaveri di?
Girl: ohh god! I love you too but please for god sake stop singing that song

Dr: Which soap do u use?

Santa: Bajrang da soap,

DR: paste ?

Santa: Bajrang da paste,

DR: shampooo?

Santa: Bajrang da shampoo

Dr: Is Bajrang an international company?

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Santa: No..

Bajrang is my room mate,.

Dont giv imprtnce 2 MONEY
B'coz it can give bed but nt sleep
Books but nt brains
Cloth but nt beauty
Luxuries but nt hppiness
SO TRNSFR it 2 my A/c today

Man shoots a Mad Dog 2 save Lady.
Nwsppr: INDIAN SAVES LADY
Man-I'm nt Indian.
Nwsppr: FOREIGNER SAVES LADY
Man-I'm Pakistani
Nwsppr: TERRORIST ATTACKS LOCAL DOG.

A Nurse Fell In Luv With A Doctor

But

the Nurse Spent Most Of the Time In D Medical Store Y?

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Only D Medical Boy Could Read Doctor's Luv Letter!

Bond meets a Tamil guy..
Bond: My name is Bond..
(smiles and then says)
JAMES BOND..
Tamil Guy: I am Sai..
=>Venkata Sai..
=>Shiva Venkata Sai..
=>Narayana Shiva Venkata Sai..
=>Lakshmi Narayana Shiva Venkata Sai..
=>Srinivasalu Lakshmi Narayana Shiva Venkata Sai..
Bond commited suicide !!

Girlfriend : Do you think I am Fat ?.

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Dhondu : No Baby :)

You have just become

My Teddy Bear from Barbie doll :P

Wfe:If I dismiss the cook & make the food myslf 4 a month, what'll u pay me?
Hsbnd:I won't have to pay u,u'll get my entire insurance amount

Santa mentioned 3yrs experience in his resume

Interviewer: Can u tell me

in which field u've experienced for 3yrs?

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Santa: In searching JOBS!

man:This computer will
cut your workload by 50%.
Santa:That is great,
I will take two piece.......

SANTA, your son is Dead..

Hearing this bad news Santa jumps from 50th floor

35 flr:

He realizes- i don't have son

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20 flr-

i am not married &

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3rd flr-

SHIT i am Banta. :p

Santa:Why do you close ur eyes while playing the piano?
Banta:I can't see the agony of the audience

A woman telephoned her local newspaper to let them know that she had just given birth to 18 children.
The reporter didn't quite hear the message and said, "Would you repeat that?"
"Not if I can help it," replied the woman.

Teacher: Did you father help with your homework???


Student: No, he did it all by himself.

Maths questn:

'x' married 'z' twice his age, left her

&

now married 'y' 1/2 his age.

Wat's d age of 'x'?

Student wrote:

I don't know the answer,

but

'x' is surely

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SAIF ALI KHAN!!

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Santa: Oye aur kaun kaun se colors ki coffee hai apke paas

Height of Blackmail:

A Beggar sitting on the road with a board that says.,

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"Give me some Money

otherwise

I will Vote for Congress again

and

make you to sit near me

Teacher asks 2 Santa change dis sentence
"I made a mistake" frm active voice 2 passive voice.
He replied quickly "I was made by a mistake"

Santa waitin at bus stop 1 gentelman came there by 2wheler n askea 'u want lift' Santa:'No thanks my house is in ground floor'

Math Teacher : If a=b and b=c then a=c, now give me the practical example of this principle from real life.

Student : I love you sir and you love your daughter which means I love your daughter.

Wife: Yesterday I saw a very Beautiful Girl.

Husband: Really ??

Then what happened?

Wife: I just kept on Admiring her, On & On..

Husband (Gets Irritated): But,

what happened then?

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Wife Smiled & said: Then What ??

I Simply Moved away from the Mirror !!!

Wife:Our servant
has stolen the
silver spoon.
Husband:Which one?
Wife:one which we stole from hotel.

Sister : where does all the rain water go?
Brother (irritated) : it goes to my head
Sister : now i know why you always have a running nose