Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 12

Bapu in a computer Exam...

examiner asked,"What is Microsoft Excel?
Bapu: " It is like Surf Excel to clean computer...!

Santa: Banta, don’t put mobile charging while sleeping at night?

Banta: y?

Santa: sometimes, battery may blast.

Banta: Yah. I know. That’s y I am removing battery from mobile while charging… :)

Boy asked his dad 4 a bike.
Dad : why did god give u 2 legs ?
Boy : one to change gear & other
to apply break.”!
Youngster rock.
Parents shock...!!

Son--- Can u write with your eyes closed ?
Father -- Yes.
Son-- Good ; can u sign my report card

KINGFISHER EMPLOYEE:Sir for the past 15 days not a single bottle has been sold...!
VIJAY MALYA:Call all the universities and ask them to announce results.

Boy: "I sent love leters to my girlfrnd everyday for 3years."

Frnd: "Then what happened?"

Boy:"Nothing finally She maried the postman.

judge: What was he doing when u arrested him?
Cop: He was arguing with a driver.
Judge: That`s no proof he was drunk.
Cop: There was no driver there.

Histry sir was on leave

So Science sir was askd 2 set d paper

The vry 1st Q shocked students


Describe jhansi Rani wid a neat diagrm & label the parts..!

TC: I think ur son is above 12, he needs a full ticket.
Lady: How he can be 12? I hav been married for 10 years.
TC: I collect fares not confessions.

A Marwadi calls Newspapr 2print death of his grandpa..
Clerk-Rs.50/- word.
Marwadi- Dada Dead
clerk-sorry,Minimum 5 wrds.
Marwadi-Dada Dead,Wheelchair for sale!

Waiter: Would you like white coffee or black coffee, Sir?
Santa: Do you have any other colours?

A boy came running to the kitchen. Boy: Dad, there is an ugly monster at the door. Dad (Looking at his wife): Tell him we have already got one!

Tcher: How old is your dad?
stud: As old as i am.
Tcher: How is it possible?
Stud: He became father only after i was born.

Santa is driving a jeep in a jungle. Tourist: How do we escape if lion comes now? Santa: Give right indicator and turn left.

A drunk man was strunlin 2
open door with key.

Frnd askd - Can I help 2open
the door?

Drunk: dude just hold the
house straight & i will
open the door..

Hight of Addiction:-

Just b4 hanging judge asked the prisoner " Urs any last wish!"

Prisoner:- 'YES" I Want to update my "FACEBOOK" status as "Died"..

SANTA-Why do doctors cover their faces during an operation?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.......Because if a mistake happens, nobody would know who did it.

Jeeto: My husband wears clothes that will never go out of style. They will always look ridiculous.

Santa: My wedding was going to happen but... Banta: But? What's the problem? Santa: My wife didn't know it.

a lecture waz going on
suddenly a boy went out of the class

lecturer: ye bahar kyu gaya??

boy's friend: sir, usko neend me chalne ki aadat hai

If girl in luv,
Her parents ask:
who is dat IDIOT?
If boy in luv,
His parents ask:
Idiot,who is dat girl?

MORAL:No matter
whoever in luv,
Boyz r always Idiots...

Banta Singh: r u standing in front of the mirror for a long time?
Santa Singh: i'm trying to remember where i have seen this face before.

Teacher: childrens exams are nearing,If u have any doubt u can ask me..
Boys: In wich printing Press the question paper are printed?

Once Santa was busy reading the prices of shares on TV, suddenly, his servant came and shouted:
Sir ur wife fell down.
Santa: Sell her immedidate

In a Hospital a Doctor Was Dismissed For Reading a Book..
.
.
.
Guess the Name Of That Book?
.
'How To Become a Doctor
In 30 Days!';

Tcher 2 sleepy student:Who
Invented Steam Engine?
Student: Wht sir?
T:Yes correct
It's James Watt
Moral:Sleeping is improve ur
genaral knowledge.

Teacher:-
Which Was 1st Silent Film In hindi?

Santa:-
If d Film Was Silent,
How Could u Know It Was in Hindi ?

Teacher shocks
Santa rocks !!

Snta 2 Bnta:- Yaar Mujhe Tenis ki Bahut Knowledge Hai..!
Chahe Kuch Bhi Pooch Le.










Bnta:-Accha to Ye Bataa.! Tenis Net May Kitne Chhed Hote H?

Crack: I would rather see Banta hanged.

Jack: You marry him and it wont be long before he will hang himself

Child: Mom, I want to have an apple.
Mom: But you had ur lunch just now.
Child: I have broken the window glass of the Doctor so I want to keep him away.