Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 43

During a software company interview:

HR: Suppose i select u, where do u see urself 5 yrs frm now?
Student: At home waiting for d joining date..:-)

Judge: Do u accept tat u stole d money 4m this guy?
Theif: No my lord, he gav m himself.
J: When did he giv u?
T: When I showed him d knife!

Teacher :Because of
Gandhiji’s hard work what
do we get on 15th August.

Student:A holiday

Define Biology and Sociology?
.
.
.
.
.
If New Born Baby Looks Like His Father It’s Biology,
If He Looks Like His Neighbor Then
It is Called Sociology.

Elephant & Ant were walking on a bridge.
Then d elephant looked down toward d river.
Suddenly ant bit the elephant.
Y?

Bcoz ants wife was bathing in the river.

Shopkeeper: This sweater's made of pure virgin wool sir.
Santa: You see I am not interested in the morals of the sheep. Just tell me, will it keep me warm?

Doctor To a Kid-Hav U ever had trouble with "Appendicitis"
-
Kid-Yes!
-
Doctor-When?
-
Kid-When I tried to Spell it!

Thief1:
Lets Count
d Money We hav
Looted Today!

Thief2:
I m So Tired,
We'll See it in d
Newspaper Tomorrow.

Joke:Wife: Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he goes to work,why dont you do that? Husband:How can I? I dont even know her. Hav a great nite ahead...

Santa> What is deffirent between COFFY shop & WINE shop
Banta> coffy shop is the starting point of LOVE and wine shop is last point of LOVE
:-)

Santa: R U going 2Boss' funeral?
BANTA: Oh No, I m Working 2day.My motto is business b4 Pleasure

Kid: I want To marry my Grandma!!!
Dad: What You Want to marry My Mom
Stupid!
Kid:- Why not ? You have married mine

Wife: Y r you studying blood related books?

Santa Singh: darling, doctor told me that tomorrow there is a blood test for me.

10thClass Student:- I want to Fail in 10th.

Friend:-Dad said If I got 80+ than Science
if less than than Arts
If I fail than I hv to "Marry"

The Singer

Boy friend: You really sing very well.

Girl Friend: Oh no I am just a bathroom singer!

Boy friend: Well, then why you and I don't practice singing together!

Customer: Waiter, do you serve pigs?
Waiter: Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

Old Version:
Men are from Mars,
Women are from Venus..
but the

Newer Version:
Men are from earth.
Women are from earth.

Deal with it.

Teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times

SANTA: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara

Police: Do you know what is the correct way of getting bail.

Judge: Yes, a note of Rs 100 under the table.

Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan.........

Wat r d 3 questions most commonly asked by lawyers?
1. Hw much money do u have?
2. Whr can u get more?
3. Do u hav nything u can sell?

Kid: Teacher can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: You have to say your ABC's first Kid: Ok, a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u, v,w.x.y, and z Teacher: Where's the p? Kid: It's running down my leg!!

Q: What happened to the class of anesthesiologists on graduation day?

A: They all passed out!

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

Police arrested a drunkard asked: Where r u going?

Man: I'm going 2 a lecture on ill effects of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight?
Man: My wife...

Civil servant: I am unable to sleep.
Doctor: Can`t you sleep at night?
Civil Servant: I sleep very well at night. I find it difficult to sleep at noon.

If time doesn't wait for u,don't
worry..! just remove the battery from clock and
enjoy life..!!
great people great thoughts..
what an Idea..!!!

Girl to Fireman: It must have taken so much courage to rescue me as you did!
Fireman: Yeah, I had to knock down 3 other guys who wanted to do it!

One american boy giving interview 4 admission in school. Madam asks who is ur father? His mother says: please ask simple questions madam!

Santa was sitting in a cricket ground.. Security Guard: Cricket match is over now,why r u still sitting? Santa: Oye yaar, I m waiting for highlights