Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 47

mother : i think our dauter is in love .
father: how do u know ?
mother: she is not asking 4 pocket money.

Terror English:
1. there is no wind in the football.
2. The girl with the mirror (specs) comes here.
3. I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?
4. You 3 of you stand together separately.
5. You go and understand the tree.

After eating fish Santa Singh never drinks water!
WHY??
Coz..
He feared that fish will start swimming in his stomach!! ;-)

Teacher: name an animal which lives in land and water.
Student: frog.
Teacher: good, now name 3 such animals.
Student: frog mom, frog dad and frog sister.

SAM- I woke up this morning & felt like going out & getting a job!
PAM- Did u?
SAM- No.. I stayed in bed until d feeling passed... ;-)

Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
Lady: then why dint you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer: well, that's not prohibited

Bank Manager- Asks Santa In Interview- Wat Is Cyclone?
Santa- It Is Smallest Loan Given To Purchase A Cycle.

Teacher-whats ur father?
Santa- I.C.S
in summer
&
P.C.S
in winter
Tchr-what's that?
Santa-Ice cream seller in summer
&
Pakoda chat seller in winter.

My dad told me that if Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise. Why? Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the bloody apple!

whats the diff between bustop and wineshop?







Bustop is the place where LOVE starts.
Wineshop is the place where LOVE ends

Mr.Bean Science
.
Major Rohail:
I was stuck in ELEVATOR for 3 hrs
Due to electric failure
Mr.Bean:
Ya me too
I was stuck on ESCALATOR for 5 hrs

Santa slapped Banta
.
Banta: did u slapped me seriously or for fun ?
Santa: seriously
Banta: bach gaya !
I wont accept Funny things with me

Marwadi donates blood to Arab.

Arab gifts him Ferrari!

Marwadi donates again.

He gets only 1Rs..

Marwadi- Why??
Arab- Ab meri ragon me tera khoon daudta hai!! ;-)

Father:Among my 4sons 3 studied BE.
Man:4th?
F:Useless guy dint study n became barber.
M:Y dint u throw him out?
F:i cant coz he's d ONLY 1 who has a job now..!

Mr. Bean: (crying) the doctor called, Mom’s dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
After 2 minutes Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

A guy goes to an interview.

Interviewer(I): What is you place of Birth?

Guy:says Thiruvananthpura
I:
Spell it?

Guy: No..No..It's Goa...!

santa train ka driver ban gya,pehli hi baar train 8 ghante late ho gye, kyuki har phatak per train rok kr pushta hai ki 22g abohar nu eh line jandi hai.

High level cnfidnce
Teacher 2 student: If u tel me, where is GOD, i'll reward u 100 rupees

Student : n If u tell me where GOD is not, i'll reward u 200 rupees.

no visits......
no calls....
no sms's......
no letter's.....
no missed calls......
I am worried....
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Kya hua zoo waalon ne dobara pakad liya kya?

A hot secretary came angrily out of boss cabin.colleague askd:what happened? he asked r u free 2nite?i said yes. & bastard gv me 50 pages 2 type!

A ship was sinking.

Captain: Does any one know how to pray?
A priest comes forward and says he can pray.


Captain: Ok priest, you pray;
Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket
as we are one jacket short.

Santa washed his underwear&put it for dry near neighbour aunty's panties and told her that please remind me to remove my underwear when you remove you panty.

Santa and Banta went for a drive.

Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?

Banta puts his head out & says “Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!”

CID - Why criminals leave their finger prints after their crime?
Santa - sir, criminals are uneducated.
If they are educated, they would leave their signature..

Tom : How should I convey the
news to my father that I’ve failed?

David: You just send a telegra - Result declared, past year’s performance repeated

soldier-sir we are surrounded by enemies from all the directions. major- excellent! now we can fire in any directions.

British- Do u know swimming??
Indan- No!
British- Dog is better than u! It swims!
Indian- Do u know swimming??
British- Yes!
Indian- Then wat is d differens betwn U & Dog? ;-)

TEACHER:
what is the different between
problem and challenge????

STUDENT:3boys+1girl=problem
1boy+3girls=challenge..

American: do you know swimming?
Indian: no
American: dog is better than you, it swims
Indian: do you know swimming?
American: yes
Indian: then what's the difference between you and dog.

Boy U r d Sunshine
Of My Life !
Without U Life’s Like A
Dreamy Cloud !
U r In My Heart Like A
Lovely Drizzle In d Sun !
Girl: Now Go Further
I’ve 2 Listen More
Weather Report