Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 51

Teacher: How Do You Differentiate
“WIFE” & “MOTHER”

SARDAR:
Before Marriage We Sleep With “MOTHER”
&
After Marriage
We Sleep With Our “WIFE”

Patient: Doctor, You Must Help Me. I Keep Losing My Temper With People.

Doctor: Tell Me About Your Problem.

Patient: I Just Did, You Stupid Bastard.

Q: Have yOu Heard The Joke AboUt bUtTer?


Ans: I Butter Not Te|L yOU,

It Might sPreAd.

2 FrIeNds oN tHeIr wAy To A fASt Food FoR diNnEr
1st oRdErS:Double ChEeSe wItH eXtRa cHeEsE aNd eXtRa mAy0s
AtTeNdEnT:Drink?
1St:DiEt cOkE I aM oN diEt!

Angry Boss: Have you ever seen an owl?

Employee: (looking down) No Sir...

Boss: Don't look down. Look at me.

Patient : Doctor, You
have given Two Prescriptions.!
Doctor : Yes, This one
is to to make You
Feel Better and the
other one to make the
Drug Company Feel Better

Tension: when wife iz pregnant!
Terror: When girl friend iz preggnant!
Horror: When both are preggnant!
Tragedy: When yU are Nt responsible fr both!

Doctors can be
Frustrating.!
You Wait a
Month-and-a-half
for an Appointment,
and he says, “I Wish
You’d Come to Me Sooner”

A boy who has the permission to enter into girls bath room and
Touch where ever he likes.whos it,can u gess? ans. Life boy

Ortho Surgeon to Patient :
“I’ve Good news and
Bad news for you.
The Bad news is
I Amputated the Wrong Leg.
The Good news is Your
Bad Leg is Getting Better.”

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted.
" The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: You can have mine."

Doctor- Mrs.Megha, Good News for you!!
Megha- What Do you mean by Mrs.Megha? I'm Unmarried.
Doctor- Ohh ok. Miss Megha, Bad News for you!!

Wife dreaming in the middle of the night suddenly shouts up.
"Quick! My husband is back!"
Man gets up, jumps of window, then realizes: "
SHIT, I"m the HUSBAND!"

5 men with guns barge into KINGFISHER'S office and shout " all girls lie down on da floor naked quickly"1 girl replied " is it a robbery or our routine meeting

Height Of
Self-Confidence




Teacher Asks Student:
"Why Are You Late... ?"

Student:
"Late .. !!!
Who Me ... ?
No Way Sir ! I'm Alive ..." =P =D

santa finished his MBBS cource and was performing his 1st operation. Soon after finishing. he prayed to god "Lord, accept my 1st gift 4 u"

a true love story
once a mosquito falls in love with a hen,
one day they kised each other
hen died of malaria and mosquito died of bird flu..
heart toucing na

Teacher:"Childrn,2days Word is W;Make Sentence."
Tim:"While We Were Walking, We Were Watching Window Washers Wash Washington's Windows With Warm Washing Water!

Teacher : Your son
is Very Good but
spends Too much time Thinking about Girls.

Mother : If you find
a solution, please advise.
His Father has
the Same Problem.

Santa: Why are you heating the knife?
Banta: To do suicide.
Santa: But why are you heating it?
Banta: To prevent infection.

The teacher asked students to write an essay on 'If I were a Millionaire'. All students started writing except Pappu. "What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?" I'm waiting for my secretary, he replied.

Musician: Is the music sweet?
Boy: More or less like the one which my father plays.
Musician: Your father a musician?
Boy: No, he is a carpenter.

Teacher : Are you
Good at Math.?
Pupil : Yes and No.
Teacher : What do
you mean.?
Pupil : Yes, I’m
NoT Good at Math.!

Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?

Because below 18 was not allowed.

Santa meets Banta
Santa: "so have you moved to a new house"
Banta: "No."
Santa: "Why not? You advertised to sell your old house, didn't you?"
Banta: "Yes, but when I read the ad, I realized it was just the home I was looking for!".

Salesman:This computer cuts ur workload by 50% Santa: Then I'll take 2 of them

Santa goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai "Wash Basin".

Rajnikant's latest project- TITANIC in Tamil!
Climax revised!
Both survive!
Rajni swims Atlantic ocean!
Heroine in 1 hand, Titanic in other!
YANNA RASCALA! MIND IT!

first prisoner:What were you convicted for?
Second prisoner:Nothing.
First prisoner:Honestly...for nothing.I stole a wallet, but there was nothing in it?

Teacher:Who is a terrorist?


Children:Terrorist is a tourist who comes from pakistan to india to celebrate Diwali**