Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 57

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I''m looking for the man who shot my paw."

Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly? Sardar: Im writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he cant read very fast.

Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father''s
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father
didn''t punish him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."

Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

Why don''t men often show their true feelings?
Because they don''t have any. 1

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I''m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too...

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that''s wrong
JOHN: Maybe it''s wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don''t bite any.

At a church school gathering, one old teacher approached a cute
5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks. "I must a
got ''em from my Daddy," said the little girl, "''cause Mommy''s still got hers."

Ek sawal...14FEB VALENTINES DAY ko log AISA KYA KARTE HAI KI THEEK 9 MAHINAY BAAD 14 NOV KO "CHILDREN DAY" MANANA PADTA HAI.

Teacher-can u define the word lecturer for me
student- lecturer is a person who has a bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping.

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.

teacher: what do you want to become?
little Johnny: doctor !!
teacher: why?
little johny: coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it

How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Girls are like roads,more the curves,more the dangerous they are. By Rock

A drunken man phoned the local police department to report that thieves had been in his car.

“They have stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,” he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time, and the same voice came over the line.

“Never mind,” the drunk said with a hiccup. “I got in the back seat by mistake.”

Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
and one is blue with red spots!
Kirk : Yes it''s really strange. I''ve got another pair of the same at home.

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kush na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii

Once a chunti saw a dali of Gur , she went to eat it, but on the way she saw a muscular chunta,she left the gur and went to chunta,because, GUR NALO ISHQUE MITHA, oyehoy .By Naila

Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn''t take his foot of the accelerator.

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....

What''s the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

There were 4 friends:somebody,nobody,brain & mad
One day Somebody & nobody were fighting while Brain was in washroom. And mad called to pollice.

Banta Sing! u get marry with Santa after my death, Wife!, but why? He is ur no 1 enemy,Banta!, this is only way to take revenge with santa singh.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she''s got a hand grenade in her mouth