Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 67

Funny Answering Machine Messages Please leave a message However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

"Doctor, Doctor, You''ve got to help me I just can''t stop my hands shaking!" "Do you drink a lot?" "Not really - I spill most of it!"

Husbd: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it''s 1.5 ltr.

Phonebook Dilemma Why r there no phone books in China? Coz there r so many Wing''s and Wong''s, they r afraid u will Wing the Wong number.

Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it''s 1.5 ltr.

hey listen she asked me u r details...so i gave her u r cell number. so she will meet u soon.... her name is smile.... i think she came.

They say Love is in the air... shit if only I had a plane right now!

2day, 2morrow & 4ever, there will be 1 heart that would always beat 4 u. U know whose?? YOUR OWN

Its difficult 2 understand GOD, He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives!

Sign post outside our collage- "Drive Carefully! Dont kill the Students, Wait for the Lecturers!".

A Mother makes her son Intelligent in 20 years, but a Girl can makes him Stupid in 2 minutes.

Sugar is sugar, Salt is salt, God made you dumbo, not my fault!

Why did God Create ''you'' before Me....? Ans: B''cause he wanted to Create a ''Sample'', Be 4 Creating A *Master-Piece*

Santa (reading from book of facts) "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don''t u use a mouth wash?"

Life Paradox what u want u don''t get(luv), what u get, u don''t njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend), what is permanent is boring (wife)

A woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says. Want a little company? Why? asks the woman. Do you have one to sell?

Teacher: Why is your nose red? Max: I smelled a b-rose. Teacher: But there is no "b" in rose. Max: There was in this one!

Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.

Why do men like smart women? Rare things are always sought after!!

U r a Stupid Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand...

A sardar falls in luv wit a nurse.. After much thinking, he finally writes a luv letter 2 her: "I LUV U SISTER"

This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn''t expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on ur name and didn''t even tell me? Animal Planet!

I want to share Everything with you. Your JOYS, Your SADNESS, Your HAPPY MOMENTS Every single second of day Let us START with your ATM Password first.

SMS Heaven! Q) Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A) Because they are afraid of what they have created!

If u read dis, I''m SMART. If u save dis, you agree dat I''m SMART. If u fwd dis, u r spreading dat I''m SMARt & if u delete dis, u r jealous coz I''m SMART

3 Guys were introduced to a girl. Hi, I’m Peter, not a saint. I’m Paul not a POPE. I’m John not a Baptist. The girl replied. Hi... I’m Mary, not a VIRGIN.

Dating process: 6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U. 6 months : Of course I love U. 6 years : GOD, if I didn''t love U, then why the hell did I propose?

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ? Student: Sir, I am not sure but I think from page 15 to 26.

Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you''re going to want to shoot it.

I''m sorry that I''m running late! There is a power failure and I am stuck on the escalator.