Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 68

Friend: how many women do u believe must a man marry? Mr. Bean: 16 Friend: Why? Mr. Bean: Coz the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.

A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don''t serve food here".

Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks To be as rich as his child believes To have as many women as his wife suspects..

Women are like blue jeans, They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly ? The father says to him, don''t stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!

Why was Phillip''s girlfriend annoyed? Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.

"I hear that you drop some money in Stocks. Were you a bull or a bear?" "Neither, just a plain simple ass."

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I''m looking for the man who shot my paw."

Advice Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice: 99% Sound & 1% Advice....

What''s the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant.

Why don''t men often show their true feelings?
Because they don''t have any.

Her Job & My Job Her Job is to Bitch! Mine is to give her a Reason!

If u dont like ny of my SMS or dont like 2 read or if my msgs disturb u,then plz dont hesitate,feel free 2 Throw Ur Mobile!!

Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice :99% Sound & 1% Advice....

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?" "Please wait someone else is using it."

Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering.

Girl: I wanna a responsible man as a husband. Man replies: Dat''s me, whenever anyone is pregnant in my neighborhood, they say I m responsible!

Psychiatrist''s receptionist comes & says There''s a man out who says he can make himself invisible. Psychiatrist: "Tell him I can''t see him right now."

Boy: what will u give me as reward if i climb Mt.Everest? Girl: A push.

2 days of powrcut in Delhi had made life miserable worst affected was "Delhi metro statin where families of Banta n Santa were stuck for 48 hrs on.... Escalators

CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this.

Will, Marry, I & U are going for a party. Whats the best & worst arrangement u can make. Did u get... Best: Will, U, Marry, Me Worst: I, Will, Marry, U

Consequences of American life style:
The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids

Definition of a Nurse A young and beautiful woman who fingers u in all places n holds ur hand and then expects ur pulse to be normal

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest. BOY : Then marry me and we''ll be the happiest couple

Increase its size Stretch it more Exercise it more Bigger the better B''coz nothin looks better on ur face than THAT
An in-depth study has shown that the bird flu virus hits the best chicks first. I thought I''d warn you immediately..

There''s only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it. There''s only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it!

If u r stressed, you''ll get pimples.. if u cry,u''ll get wrinkles.. So, y don''t u smile & get dimples?

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.