Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 69

Sign post outside our collage- "Drive Carefully! Dont kill the Students, Wait for the Lecturers!".
A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother". santa wrote back, "send me ur mother".

They say Love is in the air... shit if only I had a plane right now!

U r a Stupid Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand...

r mosquitoes religious? YES They first sing over u & then prey on you

Funny Answering Machine Messages Please leave a message However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

We''ve known Each other 4 Quite a while now, do u think we can be more than Frnds? Will u be my Partner 2 rob a Bank?

r mosquitoes religious? Yes They first sing over u & then prey on you

2day, 2morrow & 4ever, there will be 1 heart that would always beat 4 u. U know whose?? YOUR OWN

Friedship is just like wine.. as it gets older it gets sweter.. just like you and me.. you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.

Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you''re going to want to shoot it.

A Friend is like a GAS blown from the ASS, Which creates noice n nuisance to others but gives Me RELAXATION and COMFORT. Thanks for being the GAS of my ASS.

Based on Newton''s 1st Law: Law of love Love neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can be changed frm one girlfriend to another girlfriend.

I''m sorry that I''m running late! There is a power failure and I am stuck on the escalator.

Why r Women are like the stock market... Coz they''re irrational n can bankrupt u if u''re not careful.

Friedship is just like wine..as it gets older it gets sweter..just like you and me..you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.

Sugar is sugar, Salt is salt, God made you dumbo, not my fault!

Why did God Create ''you'' before Me....? Ans: B''cause he wanted to Create a ''Sample'', Be 4 Creating A *Master-Piece*

SMS Heaven! Q) Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A) Because they are afraid of what they have created!

Cute… Good looking… Easy to handle… Cool… Sexy… Nice structure… Its my mobile. How about your?

Why couldn''t the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged.

Remove your Shirt, Remove your Pants too, ahhhh uhhhhh remove ur kurti now ahhh.... Finally the suitcase is closed.

Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Every 1 can c it but only U can feel its true Warmth, Thank U 4 being the pee in my pants..

A woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says. Want a little company? Why? asks the woman. Do you have one to sell?

What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said "Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the tree....Plz try later."

Husbd: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it''s 1.5 ltr.

Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U

Birds love u, Giraffe love u, Goat love u, Elephant love u, Go to zoo, They all miss u.

The big tomato said 2 the slow little tomato: ketch up!!

What''s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.

Teacher: Why is your nose red? Max: I smelled a b-rose. Teacher: But there is no "b" in rose. Max: There was in this one!