Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 71

They say Love is in the air... shit if only I had a plane right now!

Teacher: Why is your nose red? Max: I smelled a b-rose. Teacher: But there is no "b" in rose. Max: There was in this one!

Why couldn''t the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged.

I''m sorry that I''m running late! There is a power failure and I am stuck on the escalator.

Sugar is sugar, Salt is salt, God made you dumbo, not my fault!

Why r Women are like the stock market... Coz they''re irrational n can bankrupt u if u''re not careful.

A woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says. Want a little company? Why? asks the woman. Do you have one to sell?

Sign post outside our collage- "Drive Carefully! Dont kill the Students, Wait for the Lecturers!".

A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother". santa wrote back, "send me ur mother".

Friedship is just like wine.. as it gets older it gets sweter.. just like you and me.. you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.

The big tomato said 2 the slow little tomato: ketch up!!

What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said "Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the tree....Plz try later."

Funny Answering Machine Messages Please leave a message However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you''re going to want to shoot it.

Friedship is just like wine..as it gets older it gets sweter..just like you and me..you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.

U r a Stupid Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand...

I know you think I''m cute, I know you think I''m fine, but like the other guys take a number and wait in line!!

Birds love u, Giraffe love u, Goat love u, Elephant love u, Go to zoo, They all miss u.

When in life, you wake up n you don''t see anyone, then come to me. I will be there to take you to an eye specialist!

SMS Heaven! Q) Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A) Because they are afraid of what they have created!

Remove your Shirt, Remove your Pants too, ahhhh uhhhhh remove ur kurti now ahhh.... Finally the suitcase is closed.

There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed! And ofcourse a donkey to pay her bills!!

Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Every 1 can c it but only U can feel its true Warmth, Thank U 4 being the pee in my pants..

Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it''s 1.5 ltr.

Husbd: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it''s 1.5 ltr.

Why did God Create ''you'' before Me....? Ans: B''cause he wanted to Create a ''Sample'', Be 4 Creating A *Master-Piece*

Regular Naps Prevent Old Age... Especially If You Take Them While Driving!

We''ve known Each other 4 Quite a while now, do u think we can be more than Frnds? Will u be my Partner 2 rob a Bank?

Based on Newton''s 1st Law: Law of love Love neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can be changed frm one girlfriend to another girlfriend.

r mosquitoes religious? YES They first sing over u & then prey on you