A lady gave an advertisement in the classifieds : "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a 100 letters. They all said da same thing : "U can have mine"
A drunk was hauled into court. "Mister," the judge began, "You ve been brought here for drinking." "Great," the drunk exclaimed." When do we get started?"…
An AMERICAN couple on african safari. Suddenly a huge lion springs up n seizes d wife wit its giant jaws.. Wife: "Shoot!, shoot for Christ''s sake!" Hus: "I can''t! I hav run out of film."
Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I''m getting married. I''m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I''m getting divorced for the same reasons."
A cop stops a drunk man and asks: Where you going? I''m going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism. At night? And who will give a lecture?My wife and mother-in-law!
Two flies order some food in a restaurant. One says: I''ll take the shit with garlic. And I''ll take the same, but without garlic, said the other one. I don''t like to have bad breath.
Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don''t worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It''s Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like
Srdr : What is the Guarantee for this mirror? Shopkeeper : Put Down from 100 feet of height. The mirror will not Break for the First 99 feets. Srdr:Wow
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I''m under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!
The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up from the table and said, "I have to go back to the office. I forgot to lock the safe!" "What are you worried about?" the other said. "We''re both here."
Pappu: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Jeeto: Well, you have done the right thing. Pappu: But mom, I was sitting on daddy''s lap
An englishman, bihari & punjabi were standing on roof. They decided to throw down whatever was available in excess with them. Englishman threw pounds, Bihari threw rice & Punjabi threw the Bihari down.
A teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When she asked young Johnny, he said, "My father''s dead, Miss." "Oh, I am sorry, Johnny. In that case, what did he do before he died?" "He went blue and collapsed."