Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 77

A woman was sitting at a bar when a man approached her and said, Hi, sweetie! Want a little company? Woman: Why? Do u have one to sell???

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U''ve been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

A Grl & a Boy were sitting alone.D Boy started touching D grl.Grl:dnt touch me,All this only aftr marriage. Boy:Ok,call me aftr marriage.

A mobile is like women - Talks non-stop, costs a fortune, disturbs when u r busy and when u need them urgently they have no service.

The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."
"And did he?"
"Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."

Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!

A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows

What is the difference between Mother & Wife? One woman brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you Continue to do so!!

Lady2Doc:let my husband come inside.Doctor:Trust me,I am a Gentleman.Lady:I know,but Nurse is sitting outside &my husband is not A gentleMan

After Finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna Starts his practice. He 1st checks the patient's eyes, tongue & ears with a Torch & finally declares
BOLE TO.......... TORCH THEEEEK HAI

Q: WHY DOESN'T ARJUN SINGH
HAVE TOO MANY FRIENDS?

A: Coz he's 'reserved' by nature.

Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!

Sign post outside our collage-
"Drive Carefully!
Dont kill the Students,
Wait for the Lecturers!".

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

A beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other. What is the question ???
So, Which Platform are you Working on ???....

A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent telegram to her parents - Ruby First Class in Bed!

Can U believe things ppl do??!! I was sitting next to a guy in Mandir, In the middle of the aarti, he lit a cigarette. I was so shocked, I nearly dropped my beer

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

santa was looking very sad."Wats d matter,Srdarji?" "I lent Rs. 5Lac to a friend for plastic surgery. Now I dnt know how he looks.."

Police to a drunkard: Where are you going? Man: To listen to a lecture on the ill effects of drinking, on health. Pol: Who''ll lecture at Midnite? Man:My wife,.

In Indian weddings why do Bride &
Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?

To tell each other affectionately...
Sweetheart U R Dead !

Frnd1: u have married with 1 of the twin sisters, how do u recognize ur wife? Frnd2: why should I ? : )

Roses 4 u-Rs.10
Cards 4 u-Rs.25
Movie 4 u-Rs.99
Lunch 4 u-Rs.250
but a friend like u - PRICELESS!

Abey Ziyada maat phool...
Priceless yane "Phokaat

A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar,
ordered some food and beer................
The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here"...

Sardar to Mali : Go and water the garden. Mali : It''s raining outside. Sardar : Bloody don''t give excuses. Take umbrella and go.

Wife is a knife who cuts Husbands Life.

Why did the old Mallu go to co-ledge.

He went to co-ledge to get some no-ledge!

Two small fish are in a tank.
One says to the other,,,,,,,,,,,
"Do you know how to drive this thing?"

Q: How do u keep ur husband
from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder
"Instruction Manuals"

"Do you drink?" the girl's father inquired of his prospective son-in-law."
"First tell me whether it is a question or an invitation" asked son-in-law.