Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 77

A Grl & a Boy were sitting alone.D Boy started touching D grl.Grl:dnt touch me,All this only aftr marriage. Boy:Ok,call me aftr marriage.

A woman was sitting at a bar when a man approached her and said, Hi, sweetie! Want a little company? Woman: Why? Do u have one to sell???

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U''ve been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

A mobile is like women - Talks non-stop, costs a fortune, disturbs when u r busy and when u need them urgently they have no service.

A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows

What is the difference between Mother & Wife? One woman brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you Continue to do so!!

The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."
"And did he?"
"Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."

Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!

Lady2Doc:let my husband come inside.Doctor:Trust me,I am a Gentleman.Lady:I know,but Nurse is sitting outside &my husband is not A gentleMan

Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!

Sign post outside our collage-
"Drive Carefully!
Dont kill the Students,
Wait for the Lecturers!".

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

A beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other. What is the question ???
So, Which Platform are you Working on ???....

After Finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna Starts his practice. He 1st checks the patient's eyes, tongue & ears with a Torch & finally declares
BOLE TO.......... TORCH THEEEEK HAI

Q: WHY DOESN'T ARJUN SINGH
HAVE TOO MANY FRIENDS?

A: Coz he's 'reserved' by nature.

A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent telegram to her parents - Ruby First Class in Bed!

Can U believe things ppl do??!! I was sitting next to a guy in Mandir, In the middle of the aarti, he lit a cigarette. I was so shocked, I nearly dropped my beer

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

santa was looking very sad."Wats d matter,Srdarji?" "I lent Rs. 5Lac to a friend for plastic surgery. Now I dnt know how he looks.."

Police to a drunkard: Where are you going? Man: To listen to a lecture on the ill effects of drinking, on health. Pol: Who''ll lecture at Midnite? Man:My wife,.

In Indian weddings why do Bride &
Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?

To tell each other affectionately...
Sweetheart U R Dead !

Frnd1: u have married with 1 of the twin sisters, how do u recognize ur wife? Frnd2: why should I ? : )

Roses 4 u-Rs.10
Cards 4 u-Rs.25
Movie 4 u-Rs.99
Lunch 4 u-Rs.250
but a friend like u - PRICELESS!

Abey Ziyada maat phool...
Priceless yane "Phokaat

A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar,
ordered some food and beer................
The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here"...

Wife is a knife who cuts Husbands Life.

Sardar to Mali : Go and water the garden. Mali : It''s raining outside. Sardar : Bloody don''t give excuses. Take umbrella and go.

Two small fish are in a tank.
One says to the other,,,,,,,,,,,
"Do you know how to drive this thing?"

Why did the old Mallu go to co-ledge.

He went to co-ledge to get some no-ledge!

"Do you drink?" the girl's father inquired of his prospective son-in-law."
"First tell me whether it is a question or an invitation" asked son-in-law.

Q: How do u keep ur husband
from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder
"Instruction Manuals"