Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 78

Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Bcoz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.

WIFE:Wat wil U Giv Me if I succesfuly climb n reach d top of d great MOUNT EVEREST.....?
HUSBAND: lae bholi na hove tan..Eh v puchhan wali gal hae..


"Dhakkaa"

A japanese couple have illegitimate twins,
what do they name them?
Answer: Jo Hua , So hua

BUSH asked me for searching a stupid donkey like PARVEZ MUSSARRAUF and i said him ok.as he directed i send an sms to that stupid donkey who is startled and still reading this sms.

Two rivals over a lady met and had the following dialogue:
First man: I would have married her if not what she said.
Second man: what did she say?
First man: she said no

teacher teaching algebra to student
A=B=C
it means A=C
sir asked 2 giv exampl 4 it
student:sir i luv u, u luv ur daughter,it means i luv ur daughter

system of love jan-ROSE,Feb-PROPOSE,Mar-GIFT,Apri-LIFT,May-CHATING,June-DATING,July-Miss U,Aug-MEET U,Sep-ANGER,Oct-DANGER,Nov-LEFT,Dec-NEXT.......

love in pakistan
romance in afganistan
marrige in rajsthan
no more children in hindustan......

My wife ran away with my best friend.
To tell you the truth, I really miss him.

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't notice."

Husband to a newly wed Wife.I could go to the end of the world for u,,
Wife thanks, but promise me u will stay there.

Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was a huge rush, the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved

I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss

im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me "possession of good looks".i'm doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up!

Have u seen monkey wrapped in a plastic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . lf no . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Please see ur driving license

TEACHER: u call ur mother as MUM. What will u call ur mother''s younger sister & elder sis? Sardar:so simple,i''ll call them MINIMUM & MAXIMUM

Wife: I want to enjoy this sunday. So i have bought three tickets of movie.

Hsbnd: Why three?

Wife: One for you and two for your parents.

A rose is always a rose whether its in a golden pot or in the ground. Same way u r always my friend whether u r in central jail or mental hospital...

Tortoise n rabbit gave 12th std exams n both got 80%.Both needed admission in college but cutoff was 81%.
Rabbit didnt get but Tortoise got, Y?


Sports Quota!

How to kill a mosquito: Catch it alive,Tie its legs then make gudgudi in its stomach and when it laughs,Catch its mouth & pour a spoon of poisson .....

A chinese couple Mr. and Mrs "Hua" got twins without marriage, Guess wat did they name them?? "Jo-hua", "So-hua" !

Frog goes 2 astrologer 2 know its future.
Ast:u''ll meet a young girl who wants 2 no evrythg abt u.
Frg:Grt! wen & whr?
Ast:Nxt semster in biology lab.

A Son at college wanted more money.
He sent a telegram to his father
"NO MONEY.
NO FUN.
UR SON."
The father replied:
"HOW SAD,
TOO BAD,
UR DAD!!

Wife 2 Husband,''See That''s My First Boy-Friend At The Bar, He Is Drinking Since I Left Him 10 Years Ago !'' Husband,"Nonsense ! No One Can Celebrate That Long !.

Judge: "you are fined Rs.11420" !Accused of RAPE:why Mylord exactlyRs.11420?
Judge:Rs.10000 for Rape and,
10.2% Entertainment Tax & 4% VAT.

Maths teacher: to a dull boy,
if u have 12 chocolate & u give 5 to leena, 3 to tina, 4 to meena, then what will u get?
Student: 3 Girl friends,....!

Boy:I''ll climb d tallest mount,swim d deepest ocean,walk on hot coal barefoot,jus 4u..!
Girl:So sweet! Can u come 2meet me ?
Boy:Not now,its raining..

70yrs oldman askd wife"do u feel sad wen u see me runing behind young girls?"wife reply''not atall,even dogs chase cars bt they cant drive it

A white couple had a black baby, the husband dnt believe that it is hs baby. Husbnd: why da baby black? Wife: U hot, I hot, Baby burnt!

Why do women hate alcohol so much? "Because after drinking it, their mouse like husbands become lions!"
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