Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 80

Bigamy..............What is the penalty for bigamy? ............... Two mothers-in-law !

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

What''s the difference between blonds and traffic-signs? Some signs say stop.

Some newspapers publish untrue news, but there is one thing that is true. What is it? >>> Date <<<

Don''t regret what you''ve did, but regret what you never did, go and say ''I LOVE U'' to your loved one!

There''s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

Don''t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn''t willing to waste their time on you.

FiRsT NiTe, FiRsT SiGhT, I SaW, I KnEw, LoVe''s SwEEtEr ThAn MoUnTaiN DeW, A pRoMiSe I mAdE and'' WiLL kEEp, 2 LoVe YOU aLwAys~

îÑg jûSt tO prEtêñD î''M ñOt hUrt. î hÅtE to gîGglê tO Show î''ll ßê okåY. î hAtE tO laUgh aFtEr î Cry. í Stìll lovE YOU ßût í''Vé tó SaY gooDbYê...

There are three girls in the sixth grade ... A blond a brown and a red. Who has the biggest boops ? ............ The blond because she already reached the age of 20!!!

If I''d had a face like yours, I''d sue my parents !

How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ................... .................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*

Of course... If you want something there is always a way to get there. Unfortunately on my way there are road works.

You wanna come to my place for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don''t you like pizza?!

Why is a woman 20.000 $ worth and a man only 2$? A woman has a milk factory, a mussel farm and a sawmill; a man a sausage, 2 bitterballs and a little pot of mayonnaise

What does it say on the wrapping of the Morning-after pil??? ......first some screwing before use

Farmer seeks woman with tractor. Please add photo of tractor.

I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go.

Do you think I can live for another fourty years? ... Do you drink? ... No! ... Do you smoke? ... No! ... Do you visit the whores? ... No! ....... Why do you want to live another fourty years?

One chicken to an other: are you tokkin'' to me?

Dialogue between 2 undertakers. "Do you have sometimes a dead period?"

Man says to his wife : Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife : Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.

A blond woman picks up a 100. Was it a smart or a stupid blond one? ...................... stupid of course, there are no others

Why does a stupid blond woman sneak past the pharmacy? ................. She does not want to wake the sleeping tablets!

When you harrass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt up, because you can run faster with your skirt up than he with his pants down.

A lady was scoldng her maid 4 not wrkng prprly.Angry Maid:Atleast I''m bttr than u in bed. Lady:Did my hubby told u dat? Maid:No,d drivr tld.

Eve:"Adam darling,do u love me?" Adam:"No, i dont" . Eve(crying): "Then, why did u make love 2 me?" Adam: "O Hello! As if i had any choices

A Love couple Sitting in park BOY tries2 kiss the girl.
GIRL: NO dear not all this before mariage.
BOY: dont Worry darLing i am already MARRIED.

TC collects fine from gals without ticket. Girl in shortskirt fined Rs:60, backless Rs:40,in mini Rs:20 & 1girl fined Rs:0,How??
Dirty mind..
she had a ticket!!

What is the HEIGHT of EMBARRASSMENT? RUNNING into a WALL,with an ERECT DICK... And BREAKING Ur NOSE first !!!