Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 87

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

I wish you lots of itching and short arms.

Hi, do you want to have my children? No.?? ...Okay, then can we just practice?

You have the face of a saint...a Saint-Bernard!

Will we play the hulk together??.....I will be tall and strong and you green and ugly!!!

Why do men fart more often than women ? Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure..

We had grandma for Christmas dinner?


Really, we had turkey!

Oké honey, we will try one more time!! How do you spell 'IQ' ?

This turkey tastes like an old settee.


Well, you asked for something with plenty of stuffing.

I am born this way, but what is your excuse?

What does Father Christmas write on his Christmas cards?


ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (No-L !!)

I love the sea, I love the rocks, but when I see you I need to puke !

Why did the blond woman sneak past the pharmacy?


She didn't want to wake the sleeping tablets!

Some people die. Others become a teacher...

What's the difference between Bigfoot and intelligent men?


Big foot has been spotted a few times

Women are just like frogs. They have a big mouth and are scared of the stork.

What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?


Ok you 2, don't start anything.

I'M AN ALIEN. I HAVE JUST TRANSFORMED MYSELF INTO THIS TEST. AS YOU ARE READING I'M HAVING SEX WITH YOUR EYEBALLS. I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE IT BECAUSE YOU ARE SMILING

Two blondes were driving to Disney Land when they saw a sign that read, "Disney Land left"


So they turned round and went home.

All the love that history knows is said to be in every rose!Yet all the love that could be found in two, is less than what I feel for you.

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

Drink until she's cute


But stop before the wedding!

Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.

Guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken.


The waiter replies 'nothing special - we just flat out tell 'em they're gonna die'.

Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.

What's the difference between men and women?


A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need; a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

You are so beautiful, sweet and faithful... It is a pity that I do not like animals!!!

First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.

I think you are ugly and stupid, You are a real pain in the …... Wait a moment.... oh no, I do have the right number...