Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 90

Q : Why are blonde jokes so short?
A : So men can remember them.

Q : How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A : Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I'm 16.. Shut up, Albert…

Define
IMPOTENCE...


It is nature's way of saying...


,--. no
/ /'( ,) "HARD"
( ) ) feelings!

) (
(__I_)


) (
(_I__)


) (
(__I_)


) (
(_I__)


I JUST WIPED MY ARSE ON YOUR SCREEN!

A Jewish woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says. Want a little company? Why? asks the woman. Do you have one to sell?  

Mom: Have you brought the matches home? Son: Yes! Mom: Are they working??? Son: Yes! I have try up all the fire matches... It's working.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.

Every girl wants one guy to meet all her needs, while every guy wants all the girls to meet his one need.

Teacher: I wish you would pay a little attention! Student: I'm paying as little as I can sir!

A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing & he answered - waitng 4 autumn.

I went for a walk with uncleJim,some1 threw a tomato at him,Tomatos dont hurt'I replied with a grin...They FUKEN do when the're still in the TIN!!

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!

BOY : You love me...

Uv been called b4 cupids court 4 stealin my heart, tresspassin in my dreams & robin me of my senses, uv been sentenced 2 a lifetime wiv me, how do u plead?

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
No sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.

He: Janeman, is dil main chali aao.
She: Sandal nikaloon kya?
He: Pagli, ye mandir nahi hai, aise hi aa jao...

Why can  t a blonde dial 911? Because She can  t find the eleven!!!

Important Message: Conserve your toilet paper - use both sides.

There are no personal problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.

I pretend to work here - they pretend to pay me.

Q: Why did Banta Singh try to steal a police car?

A: On the back she saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Why don't men often show their true feelings?

- Because they don't have any.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?



A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

What is the thinnest book in the world?

What Men Know About Women.

If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight?

20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand

A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.