Marriage Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 17

When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

I''ve got a good friend who married a Doctor.
One day he told her: "You need to do something to spice up our love-making".
Soon thereafter, he came home and found her in bed with another man who is also an M.D.
"Why?" asked her husband. "You said I needed to do something to spice up our love-making;
I just wanted to get a Second Opinion", she replied...

There''s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I''ll get married again.

Marriage - an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor''s Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn''t notice it."

A man''s wife has more power over him than the state has.

Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you''re in bed with a relative.

A husband''s last words should always be ''OK buy it''.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

One day a man inserted an ''advert'' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Give a man a free hand and he''ll run it all over you.

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Marriage is give and take. You''d better give it to her or she''ll take it anyway.

Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

The trouble with some woman is that they get all excited about nothing, and then marry him

I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

There''s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It''s called marriage.

The man who says his wife can''t take a joke, forgets that she took him

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

I''ve sometimes thought of marrying, and then I''ve thought again.

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can''t face each other, but still they stay together.