Miscellaneous Quotes - Page 20

Achi Baat Tou Sab Ko Achi Lagti Hai..
Lekin Jub Tumhain Kisi Ki Buri Baat Bhi Buri Na Lage To Smjo..
Tmhain zZalil h0ne ki aadat ho gayi Hai.

An applicant to his new Boss.
'Sir, I always give 100% at work!'
Boss: 'Oh, and how do you manage it ?'
Applicant replies: 'Sir, 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday!'

'FRIENDS' r 'SPECIAL'
‘S’ upport Us
‘P’ ray 4 Us
‘E’ ncourage Us
‘C’ are 4 Us
‘I’ nspire Us
‘A’ dvise Us
‘L’ ove Us
Hope We Remain
'SPECIAL' Always (:

Badnam Zamane main Mohabbat Nahen Karte,
Dil Waly Tu Dushman Se Bhi Nafrat Nahen Karte,
Ek Bar Jisy Chaha Sada Uss K Rahe Phir,
Ham Log Amanat Main Khianat Nahen Karte,
Tanhai Main Karlete Hain Yaad Aansoo Baha Kar,
Zahir Kabhi Ham Apni Ebadat Nahen Karte,
Waqt Aane Par Maaloom Yeh Ho Jaiy Ga Tum Ko,
Ham Sirf Dekhawe Ki Mohabbat Nahen Karte,
Lekhte Hain FAQAT Ek Tumhare Liy Ghazlain,
Har Shakhs Pe ham Aise Enayat Nahen Karte..

A guy says to his friend, 'Guess how many coins I have in my pocket.'

The friend says, 'If I guess right, will you give me one of them?'

The first guy says, 'If you guess right, I'll give you both of them.'

Two children are talking.

A: Meet my new born brother.
B: Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name?
A: I don't know. I can't understand a word he says

A student is talking to his teacher.

Student: 'Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?'
Teacher: 'Of course not.'
Student: 'Good, because I haven't done my homework.'

Teacher: What's the past participle of the verb 'to ring?'
Student: What do you think, sir?
Teacher: I don't think. I KNOW.
Student: I don't think I know either, sir.

The patient says, 'Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.'
The doctor says, 'Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.'
mug = cup

The patient says, 'Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
The doctor says, 'Next, please.'

Aayi Basant Jhoom Ke
Patan Jaise Bamar Choom Ke
Parv Hai Yeh Masti Bhara
Aaya Hai Mera Sms, Muskura Do Zara…

Dil mein har raaz daba ke rakte hai,
Honton pe muskurahat saja ke rakte hai,
Ye duniya sirf kushi mein saath deti hai,
Isliye hum apne ansuon ko chupa ke rakte hai…

Ugta Hua Suraj Dua De Aapko
Khilta Hua Phool Khushboo De Aapko
Hum To Kuch Bhi Dene Ke Kaabil Nahi
Denewala Hazaar Khushiyan De Aapko…

Yaad Aati Hai Toh Hum Usme Kho Jaate Hain
Aansu Aankho Main Aaye Toh Thoda Ro Lete
Neend Bhi Nahi Aati Aankho Main Lakin
Une Khawaab Dekhne Ko Fir So Jate Hain…

Kashish dil ki har cheez bhula deti hai,
Band aakhon mein bhi sapne saja deti hai,
Sapno ki duniya jarur rakhna dost,
Kyun ki hakikat to aksar logo ko rula deti hai…!

Khelna Seekh Liya Ab Toh Dard Se Humne
Jeena Seekh Liya Bewafai Ke Sath Ab Toh
Dil Kis Kadar Toota Hai Kya Bataayein Hum
Marne Se Pehle Kafan Odhna Sikh Liya Humne…

How fast can you guess the words?
1.boo_s
2.__ndom
3.f__k
4.p_n_s
5.pu_s_
6.s_x

Answers
1.books
2.random
3.fork
4.pants
5.pulse
6.six

You got all 6 wrong..!! :-\

At night if mosquito bites, what should we do?
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Just scratch n sleep again..
We r not Rajanikanth to make the mosquito say sorry!

What will be the ad for Petrol in Year 2020?
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Buy 10 liter Petrol & Get 1 Tata Nano free…!!!

How to increase Positive thinking?

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Ans: Watch FASHION TV
Bcoz u always think..
Thik hai, ye nahi to agli wali ka to kuch dikhega..!!

You know what COLLEGE means??
C=Come
O=On
L=Lets
L=Love
E=Each
G=Girl
E=Equally
So every BOY goes to COLLEGE.

Mr Santa taklu hai phir bhi har roz woh saloon jata hai!
Maloom hai kyun?
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Nahi pata
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Soocho
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Nahi maloom
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Inta bhi nahi maloom
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Kyun ki woh saloon santa ki hai!

SHUT UP
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S = Surprises 4 U
H = Happiness 4 U
U = Unlimited Love 4 U
T = True Passion 4 U

U = U’re Alwayz In My Mind
P = Praying 4 U

So Again… SHUT UP!

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
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Think..
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Don’t know the answer
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Very simple
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Yes, It can because the Empire State Building can’t jump!

A chinese pair Mr and Miss Hua, got twins without getting married. What did they name them?

Ans:
Jo Hua, So Hua.

A Bicycle Cant Stand On Its Own





Why ... ?





Think !!





Because








Its Two-Tired ...

Itna jaldi daaman chod diya,
Itna chaldi vaada tod diya,
Abhi to zindagi ka sansein hai baaki,
Aur aapne abhi se YAAD karna chhod diya

Bolta hai dosti, Chup rehta hai pyaar, Hasati hai dosti, Rulata hai pyaar, Milati hai dosti, Judaa karta hai pyaar, Phir bhi kyun dosti chodkar, Log karte hai pyaar.

Tere intezar mein umar bhi ghawa di
Ek bar mera intezar kar ke dekhna
Tere hussan ki kashish teri sadgi hai jani
Yeh sab kuch uss par nisar kar ke dekhna..

Hota hai dil kyu betaab aur beqarar
Ek lamhey ka intezar kar ke dekhna
Hijar mein katain hain shabo-roz ki tarhan
Ghari ki tak tak shomar kar ke dekhna

Ho sake toh pyaar ka itebar kar ke dekhna
Phir lafzon se iqraar kar ke dekhna
Junon ki had se aage nikal jain ge
Faqat ek bar hum se izhaar kar ke dekhna

Pyar wo hame bepana kar gaye,
Fir zindagi mein hamko tanha kar gaye..
Chahat thi unke ishq mein fanna hone ki,
Par woh lout kar aane ko bi mana kar gaye…

Keep the smile,
Leave the tear,
Think of joy,
Forget the fear,
Hold the laugh,
Leave the pain,
Be joyous till i sms again.

Very touching line by Shakespeare from his novel,
” I am Mad for her…but why I am not made for her….? “

GIRL: I Have A Question For You.
BOY: Alright, Ask Me.
GIRL: What Do You See When You Look In My Eyes?
……
BOY: You Honestly Wanna Know?
GIRL: Yeah !!……
BOY: My Future..?

Gals have two major problems with their wardrobe:
1. Nothing to wear &
2. No place to keep her clothes.
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Guys have two major problems with their laptop:
1. Nothing to watch &
2. No space for anything new..!!

How I Wished To Whisper Countless Things In You Ear
But They Were Frozen When You Were Near
Now That You Have Gone Gone Forever My Dear
They Are Melting And Bursting Through My Eyes Tear By Tear

CUTE KAVIDHAI OR FANTASTIC JOKE:

Nilavaiyum, Vinnaiyum Pirippathu Amavaasai..,

Ennaiyum, Avalaiyum Pirippadhu Ava Amma Aasai...

5 ruba coinukkum, 100 ruba notukkum enna vidhyasam?

?

?

?

95 ruba vidhyasam...

By

Abdul kalam kitta award vanga thudippor sangam!

Wife:

Yethuku adikkadi en mugathula thanni thelikireenga?

Husband:

Unga appa unnai poo mathiri parthuka sonnar adhaan....

Jo Jaldi mile woh hai gum
Jo jaldi mile woh hai gum,
Jo dair se mile woh hai paisa,
Jo kisi kisi ko mile woh hai pyar,
Jo kismat se mile woh hain AAP.

Dosti Kro College wali se
Dosti kro college wali se,
Ishq larao office wali se,
Flirt kro padose wali se,
Pyar kro dilwali se,
Aankh ladao sali se,
Aur maar khao gher wali se.

Khush to bahot hoge tum,
Khush to bahot hoge tum, Ki forward karne ke liye SMS mil gaya,
Magar aab kya karoge...?
Jab msg me kuch bhi nahi mila...?
Ha ha ha ha

Mujhe Aksar Apno Se Chahat Ka Shikwa Rehta Hai
Kyun Ki Apno Ne Kabhi Nai Chaha Mujhe Apno Ki Tarah

Jub Tasawwur Mera Chhupkay Se Tujhe Chhuu Aaye
Apni Har Saans Se Mujh Ko Teri Khushbuu Aaye
Mashgala Ab Hai Mera Chaand Ko Taktay Rehna
Raat Bhar Chain Na Mujh Ko Kisi Pehluu Aaye

Tum To So Gaye Ho, Her Roz Ki Tarah,
Apne Khwabon ki dunia main,
Hum Ny Aaj Phir, Itni Rat Ker Di,,,
Tumhe Yad Krty Krty...!!!

Hi ( ' '''()
I just ((')'')
blew ( /¬''(,,)
a special kiss 4 u
( '''()
(''( 'o', )
('')'')(,,) catch it babe xx
Happy Birthday

o,, o /),/)
( ' ; ' ) ( ' ; ' )
(,,)-(,,)(,,)-(,,)
U'n ME forever..
and of ever and
more ever!
Happy Birthday

***/****/****/****
***/****/****/****
***||****||****||******
***||****||****||******
*****(—————–)*****
***(——-Happy——)***
***(—–Birth-day—-)***
***(______________)***
Machli Ko English main kehte hain 'FISH'
Hum Ap ko Bohut karte hain 'MISS'
Hum se Pehle Koi kar na De ap ko 'WISH'
Is liye 1 Din pahle kar rahe hain “'WISH'
Happy Birthday To You

; ;
c(''') c(''')
''''''''''''''''''
Special hot
COFEE fr me n my unfrgtable frend in lovely
Nite
CHEERs & GET
FRESH.

.-'''-. ( ^_^ )____/(
!_!__!_!_)
Ja Tommy Jaa
Aur Kaat
Un K Mobile
Ko Jo Mujhe
SmS Nahin
Bhejta Jaa
Shabash
Chhorna
Nahin
Tukre
Tukre
Kerdena.