Naughty Wishes and Status Messages - Page 13

The trouble with finding ur perfect soul mate is that she would probably want to get married, then 4 weeks after the wedding u would meet another perfect soul mate, with larger breasts

Judge: So, when did you realise that you were raped?
Prostitute: When the cheque bounced!

A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent telegram to her parents - Meena First Class in Bed!

The prayer of a naughty girl visiting the Chucrh:
Oh Virgin Mother thou who did conceive without sinning... teach me to sin without conceiving!

A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it

Dear subscriber ur sex balance is low. Ur account will be put into virginity mode so please refuck as soon as possible to keep ur account open.

A boy comes to his class with broken specs. Teacher: What happened?
Boy: I was kissing my galfriend
Teacher: How could u break ur specs kissing a gal?
Boy: She crossedher legs

Man: Mistriji, bed majboot banana, mere bete ko bahu ke saath sona hai.
Mistri: Aisa majboot banaunga ki saara mohalla Bahu ke saath soye to bhi nahin tootega

Ladki apni marzi se de to Pyar,
Dost dilaen to Uphaar,
Ghar wale dilaen to Sanskaar
Aur hum apne aap le lein to Balatkaar

Girl: Arey itna bada! Munh mein kaise daloongi?
Boy: Jaldi munh kholo!
Girl: Oops, sare kapdey giley ho gaye.
Boy: Aur logi?
Girl: Na baba, yeh golgappe tum hi khao

A lady, toweling off in front of the mirror, noticed a few gray pubic hairs. She bent down & said to her privates: I know u haven''t been getting much lately but I didn''t know u were so worried about it

What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.

The irony of a blow job is that even if you have her at your feet she''s got you by the balls.

A fat electrician while having sex asks her wife: Bolo priye tumhe kya gam hai?
Wife: Swami Load Jyada aur Voltage kam hai

BAR & BRA... wonder what it’s about these three letters that both induce sudden desire & thirst, anytime you see them open...

Pastor: Do you know where little boys and girls go when they do bad things?
Johnnie: Sure, back of the church yard.

What''s the difference between Patiala Peg n Patiala Salwar?
Ek chadti jaldi hai aur ek utarti jaldi hai.

Two prostitutes were talking:
We''re in the best business in the world
Why''s that then?
Well, we''ve got it, we sell it, and we''ve STILL got it!

What does a hen think when a cock runs after her?
She thinks: I hope I''m running not too fast

Boy asks a girl: How much calcium is there in woman''s Breasts?
Girl: Woman''s Breasts have enough calcium to help a Man''s boneless thing standup!

Common statements by girls after the exam & the wedding night: Thoda Mushkil tha lekin Achcha tha, Kaafi lamba bhi tha, Thak gayee, Aata tha lekin theek se kar nahin paayi

Ladies hostel warden calls electricity office & complains: Aaj to aadmi bhej do, ladkiyan 3 din se mombatti se kaam chala rahi hain

Congratulations on the termination of ur isolation & may I express an appreciation of ur determination to end the desperation & frustration which has caused u so much consternation in giving u the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.

Y is puppy greater than dog?
Coz it could wriggle out of the spot where its father got stuck!!

A baniya has sex just on alternate days! His friend asks him the reason. Baniya replies: Ke karen, ek din to condom sukhane mein lag jaave hai!

What''s the similarity between drinking a coke & sucking a tall woman''s tits?
Piyo sar utha ke...

Jab Gabbar paida hua to uski maan ne us se 3-4 thappad lagaye
Gabbar''s Father: Kya baat ho gayi?
Mother: Kambakht paida hote hi pooch raha tha KTNE AADMI THE...

Why Newton was shocked when he saw a beautiful girl naked?
He found his dick going up, which was against his ''Law of Gravity''

Y do women with large breasts have small waists?
Because nothin grows under the shade

What''s fashion designing?
Too many brains, with too many ideas working on too little pieces of cloth... just to cover two little tits of a model.