Naughty Wishes and Status Messages - Page 14

For toothpaste ad they show teeth.
For hair oil they show hair.
For face cream they show face.
But for Whisper they r not showing anything, that''s cheating. Jaago Grahak Jaago

Woman: Doc saab mujhe thode din bachcha nahin chahiye.
Doc: Yeh Condom Le Lo.
Woman: Ye pani ke saath loon ya doodh ke saath.
Doc: Kele ke saath

Ladki aur chai mein hamesha 6 qualities honi chahiye:
Garam ho, Tez ho, Meethi ho, Doodh jyada ho, 5 minute mein taiyyar ho, and Raat bhar sone na de

School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha: Madam ji Thodi aap koshish karo, thodi hum karte hain, bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!

Why do pubic hair never grey and hair on head turn grey? Because utte sochan hi sochan te thale moujan hi moujan.

What is the similarity between a bus conductor and a gay? Both shout: Peechey se Aaa

Beauty is 2 c & 2 touch,
Flowers r 2 smell & 2 pluck,
Nipples r 2 play & 2 suck,
Women r 2 Luv & 2 Fuck,
All these r free but depends on Luck

A young blonde goes to the doc 4 a physical. The doctor puts his stethoscope up to the gal''s chest & says: Big breaths.
The girl replies: Yeth & I''m not even 16

Man was smoking in a bus. Conductor: No Smoking ka board nahin dikhta?
Man: Uske side mein ''Always Wear Condom'' ka board hai, ab vo bhi laga ke baithoon?

Boy: If I press ur boobs & run, what''ll u think?
Girl: I''ll think... Ek bewakoof, jo puri car chala sakta tha, sirf horn daba ke bhag gaya

Bania to petrolpumpwala: Your scheme ''Free Sex with Petrol'' is a fraud. Pumpwala: It''s not fraud sir. Ask ur wife, she has already won 9 times

A delicate young man walked into an army recruiting office. After answering numerous questions, he was finally asked if he was a homosexual. The guy admitted that he was.
Recruiter: Gay, huh? Do you think you could kill a man?
"My, yes," the man giggled, "but it would take days & days"

A Chinese man files for divorce
Judge: What''s the reason?
Chinese: Me no come, she no come, baby come, how come
Judge: May be side income

Pregnant gal se Doc ne pucha: Yeh kab hua?
Gal: Jab Mom n Dad film dekhne gaye the, mera friend ghar aaya tha.
Doc: Tum saath kyon nahin gayi?
Gal: Adult movie thi...

How wud u tell ur galfriend if u want to go to toilet on 1st date.
Dear I''ve to go to shake hands with my close friend with whom I''m going to introduce u later

A young gal goes to a Doc with mom
Gal: Medical check up karwana hai
Doc: Kapde utaar k parde k peeche let jaao
Gal: Mera nahin, mom ka
Doc: Oh, aap jeebh dikhayen

A kid wrote to Santa Claus: Send me a brother
Santa wrote back: Send me ur mother

Kissing is a habit, Making love is a GAME,
Guys get pleasure, Gals get pain!
He says love u & she believes it''s TRUE,
But wen tummy gets bigger, he say ''Hell to U''

3 commandants for a successful life: Stay married, u hv nothing to lose except happiness, stay cool coz marriage is not a word but a life sentence, stay faithful to the wife. Whose wife? That can be discussed later

Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society; but always remember who laid them!

Litte Boy: Daddy, where did I come from?
Daddy: You came from the stork
Little Boy: Ewww, you fuc ked a stork?

10 qualities of a perfect girlfriend- Truthful, Intelligent, Gentle, Humble, Tolerant, Polite, Understanding, Sexy, Smart, Youthful. In short -TIGHT PUSSY

What do you do if you come across a girl in your bed?
Apologise and wipe it off!

An ad in the paper: Come Via_Agra... and see man''s greatest erection for a woman. The Taj Mahal...!

Ik badmaash ik kuri nu chak ke lai janda hai te rape karna shuru kar dinda hai.
Karda karda ruk jaanda hai te kehnda hai: Hun dass kithe hai tera ashiq, je hai dum taan...
Kudi: Tu ruk na kari chal, maza aa reha hai, us kamine nu SMS padi jaan de

Ek sawaal: Duniya ka sabse mushkil kaam kya hai?
Jawaab: Soye huye pappu par condom chadhaana.

What did the Hen say when Rooster tried to rape her?
Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuckaaak

A prostitute goes to a school for a job
Principal: Can u teach zoology/biology/geology or physiology?
Prostitute: No. Only DALOGY & NIKALOGY

Baniya gave matrimonial ad for his daughter, working at a call centre: Wanted a suitable match for Chandigarh''s highest paid call girl

A man married a Lady Traffic police Inspector.
Friend: How was ur first night?
Man: She charged Rs 100 from me for Overspeed, 200 for wrongside entry and Rs 500 for no helmet