Naughty Wishes and Status Messages - Page 16

Through all the things that came to pass Our love has grown . . . but so''s your ass.

A great scientist developed a bra that stops woman''s boobs from bouncing while running or nipples showing when wet. His colleagues killed him!

Teacher: Name some films that have almost same stories?
Pappu: Madam, Blue films.

Knowledge is like ur underwear... u should have it, but not show it off & most important, when u have sex, keep ur knowledge aside.

Press down down more Ok more YES
Press down down more Ok more YES ahh ohh yes almost there yeah oh shit harder SO GOOD ! mmmmm That''s how I sex on text !

Sex - Burn Calories Chart
Lying down: 90cal
Standing up: 492cal
Doggie style: 326cal
2nd round: 824 cal
Dressing up after sex while spouse knocks at d door: 5000 cal

Guys think larger a woman''s breasts, less intelligent she is. But the fact is that larger a woman''s breasts, less intelligent the Men become!

Happiness is like a penis- It always looks small if u hold it in ur own hand. But when u learn to share it, u realizes how big it grows!

Air Hostess came out of Pilot''s Cabin, dress crumpled, hair messy, blouse open, bra Missing, wet skirt.
Santa: Now I know why it''s called COCK- PIT

I bought this Valentine''s card at the store In hope that, later, you''d be my whore

Kalu makes idlis 4 breakfast.
Wife: How did u manage 2 make such huge idlis?
Kalu: With the help of this special cloth.
Wife-U idiot give me my Bra back.

A kid asked a priest: Father, besides praying do u hv any other passtime?
The priest tapped the kids cheek & calmly replied: Nun my child, nun.

What’s d heights of tension?
When u get 2 c cleavage of sexy teacher sitting right in front of u, during last 5 minutes of exam & u got 2 write a lot to pass.

A General asks a young lady officer, how she felt in Services?
Lady: Very fine, whole day passes in saying Yes Sir, Yes Sir & the whole night in No Sir, No Sir!

Sex & Shopping have one thing in common: In both the cases, men start sweating in 15 minutes & women want to go on and on and on and on!

3 friends talking about AIDS
Friend: Kabhi condom ke bina nahin karta. Santa: Ungli mein bhi condom pehnta hoon.
Banta: Main to bilku risk nahin leta, padosi se karwata hoon.

Want a booming business? Start a condom company named "DIPPER Condoms". U''ll get free publicity on every truck in India. Use DIPPER at night.

Ik aadmi nu Chhik (aa chi) aayee te naal hi padd vi aa gaya. Oh chhik te padd maar ke boliya: Wah O yaad karan waleya, bund hi paad ditti...

Viagra now available in powder to put in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from going soft.

Every married man keeps wondering every evening: Shud I go out and look at what I cannot fuck or stay home and fuck what I cannot look at.

8 qualities of a perfect husband:
Brave, Intelligent, Gentle, Polite, Energetic, Nutty, Industrious, Sensitive.
And if all else fails, read the capital letters only.

A very sexy n attractive female employee to her boss: Sir, Will you remove something from my breast?
Boss:Wow! What''s that?
Ur eyes, sir !

What''s the moral of movie Salaam Namaste?
The moral is: Never trust Australian Condoms.

A girl phoned me the other day and said.
A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there''s nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

On a NUDE beach a man shakes hands with a lady & says: Pleased to meet you.
Lady: Ya, I can SEE that.

Don’t carry umbrella during rain, keep WHISPER on ur head coz yeh ghanto tak geelepan ka ehsas bhi na hone de.

there are 3 chambers in my heart.
there are 3 chambers in my heart.
1 for ALLAH
1 for ABBOO
1 for AMMEE
Oh wat about u dear?
Sorry no place 4 u in my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bcoz
You Are MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q: What''s the difference between a policeman''s knightstick and a magician''s wand?
A: A Magician''s wand is for cunning stunts.

If a black man fucks a white girl using a pink condom what colour of child will he get?
Idiot... still thinking? He was using a condom.

Dr: Jor se saans lijiye, Lambi saans, aur Lambi then a sound came "khatak"
Dr: Oh! lagata hai aapka rib fracture hai.
Lady: Chup raho, meri bra ka huk toot gya hai.