Naughty Wishes and Status Messages - Page 4

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

Are you free tonight, or will it cost me? I''m new in town, can you give me directions to your flat?

A man said 2 his doctor ''everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection'' the doctor said ''That''s because u look like a cunt!

I''m popey the sailorman, I''m member of the klu klux clan, when I pull the triger, I kill a fuc***g nigger. I''m popey the sailor man, toet toet.

Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest.

Wat''s the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over but when u pull a panty the show begins..

(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!

Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U''re gonna b really sorry! I''m going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?

There is hot sex, fast sex, group sex, safe sex, leather sex, telephone sex and for people wid a face like urs theres.............masturbation

Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paude thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.
Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long.....!

Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.

Santa: What''s difference between man & Superman?
Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born smart & handsome, but what the hell happend to you?

Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn.

Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U''re gonna b really sorry! I''m going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!

Kiss''s r blown + kiss''s r wasted kiss''s rnt kiss''s unless they r tasted, kiss''s spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated!

Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

I''ve been arrested for bein the ugliest person in Britain, can u cum down the police station and show them it''s a mistake?

Sorry! Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get

Santa Banta zid kar rahe c monkey dekhan di... so tuhade ghar da address dita hai. Yaar 2-4 tapusian maar ke dikha deo bichare khush ho jaan ge.

When I was young I begged God for a bike, but God does not work that way... so I stole a bike and begged for forgiveness!

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

You don''t know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again you don''t know the meaning of most words.

Clouds r white but the sky is blue,monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, dont get angry ull find me there too,not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha! hav
A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

I have the "I".I have the "L".I have the "O".I have the "V".I have the "E"... so pls

Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada diyo, mera vyah ho gaye hai.
Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi