One Liners Wishes and Status Messages - Page 20

One Liners Wishes on Page 20 of 41
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Updated 11 years ago
11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Chandan # 90

What''s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Arjun # 33

Two nuns are out driving when a vampire drops onto the bonnet of
their car. "Quick sister," screams one nun, "Show him your cross!"
So the other nun leans out of the window and shouts, "Oi! You! F*ck off!"

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Nirati # 47

In the news today...
Two Indian heroin addicts inject curry powder by mistake.
Both are in intensive care.
One has a dodgy tikka, the other is in a korma

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Shashank # 111

An elderly couple was attending church services,
about halfway through she leans over and says,
"I just had a silent fart what do you think I should do?"
He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Ravi # 96

What''s brown and sounds like a bell?
DUNG

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Akshat # 42

What is defference between man and Superman?
Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Jyotsana # 16

Did you hear about the scarecrow that won an award?
Apparently he was out standing in his field.

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Sana # 76

What is brown and sticky?
A stick.

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By [email protected] # 121

I was in the pub yesterday, and i saw Vincent Van Gogh in the corner.
I called him over and asked him if he fancied a drink, to which he replied. ''no thanks, I''ve got one ear!''.....

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Divya # 63

An ice cream van owner was found dead today in his van. The man was discovered under the ice cream dispenser, covered in ice cream, hundreds and thousands and raspberry syrup.
Police believe he topped himself.

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Gaurav # 109

What do a gynaecologist and a pizza boy have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can''t eat it.

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Rana # 40

Don''t buy a dwarf with learning difficulties.
It''s not big and it''s not clever.

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By [email protected] # 121

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Ashish # 52

Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Nakul # 99

Zen Buddhist to hotdog vendor: "Make me one with everything."

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Deepak # 110

Why was 6 scared?

Because 7 , 8 , 9!

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Divya # 63

How do you know if your a red neck?
You go to the family reunon to find a date!

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Kalika # 54

Two lepers are playing cards.
One threw his hand in and the other laughed his head off!

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Lokesh # 55

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank--proving once and for all that you can''t have your kayak and heat it.

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Saurabh # 15

Tommy says to the teacher "Miss. would you ever punish me for something i didn''t do?"
The teacher replies "No, Tommy of course not"
"Good cause i didn''t do my homework!"

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Sucheta # 97

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist''s novocaine during root canal work?
He wanted to transcend dental medication!

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Sana # 76

What did the fish say when it hit a wall?
DAMN!!!!!

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Neeraj # 32

Two elephants walk off a cliff...
Boom! Boom!!!

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Piyush # 27

Two aerials meet on a roof fall in love and get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was fantastic.

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Shubhdeep # 112

A lorry has overturned on M6 loaded with vicks vapour rub, police have said there will be no congestion for 8 hours!

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Prabhjot # 95

What''s invisible and smells of carrots?
Rabbit farts.

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Chandan # 90

what do you call a fish without an eye?
Fssshhhhh...

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Shubham # 34

I need someone really bad, Are you really bad?
I''m not a complete idiot, Some parts are missing.
If something goes without saying, Let it.
Jesus paid for our sins, Now, lets get our money''s worth.
Be nice to your kids, They''ll choose your nursing home.
I used to be open minded, but my brains kept falling out
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Agha # 108

Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"

11 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Agha # 108

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her,
"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle? If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.

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