What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive.
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
How do you make a hot dog stand? Steal its chair.
What bird can lift the most? A crane.
Why did you hit your husband with a chair?" "I couldn''t lift the table."
What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed? Sleep somewhere else.
What can you hold without ever touching it? A conversation.
What clothes does a house wear? Address.
Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free Trip around the Sun.
What do you call a calf after it''s six months old? Seven months old.
Why were the teacher''s eyes crossed? She couldn''t control her pupils.
What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors? A piano.
20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one idiot is now holding his mobile in his hand
What did one elevator say to the other? I think I''m coming down with something!
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars? An in-car-nation.
Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon? He took them to a pignic.
What do you call a guy who''s born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati? Dead.
What has 6 eyes but can''t see? 3 blind mice.
HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket,the smell is unbearable!!!
How do you prevent a Summer cold? Catch it in the Winter!
Love is photogenic; it needs darkness to develop
"What did one ghost say to another?" "Do you believe in people?"
What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit? Bugs Bunny.
What bone will a dog never eat? A trombone.
Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose? His powder puff is on the wrong end.
They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
What kind of ties can''t you wear? Railroad ties.
How does a pig go to hospital? In a ambulance.
No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.
All those who believe in psycho kinesis raise my hand. I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...
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