Losing a husband can be hard: in my case it was almost impossible.
We have enough youth: how about a fountain of "smart"?
Sometimes too much to drink isn''t enough.
Under my gruff exterior lies an even gruffer interior.
The trouble with life is there''s no background music.
Strip mining prevents forest fires.
The meek shall inherit the earth.....after we''re through with it.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Seen it all, done it all, can''t remember most of it.
How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?
I''d kill for a Nobel Peace prize.
I don''t have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
I think sex is better than logic, but I can''t prove it.
Two rights do not make a wrong, they make an airplane.
Lord, if I can''t be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.
Everybody repeat after me: "We are all individuals."
Don''t get married, find a woman you hate and buy her a house. It''s a lot easier on you.
Time is just nature''s way to keep everything from happening at once.
Money isn''t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Two wrongs do not make a right, but three lefts do.
If evolution is fact, why do mothers only have two hands?
I was only looking at your nametag, honest!
It''s hard to make a comeback when you haven''t been anywhere.
Welcome to Utah: set your watch back 20 years.
Jesus is coming, so look busy.
Be nice to your kids: they''ll choose your nursing home.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand times the memory.
Ham and Eggs: A day''s work for a chicken; a lifetime commitment for a pig.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Jesus loves you, it''s everybody else that thinks you''re an ass.
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