Here I am! What are your other two wishes?
He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.
If you can''t convince them, confuse them.
I was happier than a kitten with a Q-tip.
Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
A fool and his money can throw one hell of a party.
Money isn''t everything but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
All power corrupts. Absolute power is pretty neat, though.
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
Remember: First you pillage then you burn.
I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
They call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
If your feet smell and your nose runs, you''re built upside down.
He was hairier than Chewbacca dipped in Rogaine.
Well, paint me purple and call me Barney.
Confession is good for the soul but bad for your career.
Gargling is a good way to see if your throat leaks.
I like my men like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.
He was more tense than Jesse Jackson on Father''s Day.
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
I was more nervous than a ceiling fan storeowner with a comb-over.
The Dark Ages was caused by the Y1K problem.
The statement following is true. The statement prior is false.
Gun Control: Use both hands.
I like cats too. Let''s exchange recipes.
I like my women like I like my coffee. Cold and bitter.
If you think there is good in everybody then you obviously haven''t met everybody.
I''m busier than a one-legged Riverdancer.
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