Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise.
Cole''s Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
Clairvoyants meeting canceled due to unforeseen events.
Clones are people two.
I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
Karaoke is Japanese for "Tone Deaf"
Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
A day without sunshine is like night.
Alzheimer''s advantage: New friends every day.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys
I couldn''t care less about apathy.
Bombs don''t kill people, explosions kill people.
I like kids, but I don''t think I could eat a whole one.
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven''t got.
Doesn''t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.
It''s sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like wild dogs.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!
As I said before, I never repeat myself. As long as I can remember, I''ve had amnesia.
I bet you I could stop gambling.
Bigamy: one wife too many.Monogamy: same thing
Do not put statements in the negative form.
Friction can be a drag sometimes.
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